THANK YOU, STRANGERCROMBIE
TO THE EDITOR: Harvest Outreach, Benton County: The wife of a soldier who recently returned from Iraq told the Harvest Outreach Food Bank that her husband has not yet found a job and they could not make ends meet. They have six kids.

Cherry Street Food Bank, King County: A single mom who had been in the nursing field for 30 years lost her job last summer after back surgery prevented her from returning to work in a timely manner. Despite her diligence, seven months later, she still hasn't found work and has found some relief at the Cherry Street Food Bank. She has two teenagers, one who requires constant medical attention to correct a birth defect.

Bikers Against Statewide Hunger, Grays Harbor County: The amount of children we provide food to has been going up for the last year.

These are just some examples of the people who are going to receive the food purchased with the $31,575 raised during Strangercrombie 2004. They are people we meet every day. Single moms. Our kids' classmates. People looking for work that isn't there. And, more and more, families of soldiers.

Thanks to Stranger staff, generous bidders, and bighearted con- tributors, the $31,575 provided 59,576 families with nutritious meals. In total, Strangercrombie has raised over $58,776, helping 110,900 families in need of food. This is truly remarkable.

On their behalf, we thank you for helping us in our mission to fight hunger in a manner that respects the dignity of those we serve.

Shelley Rotondo

Executive Director, NW Harvest

STRANGERCROMBIE CLARIFICATION: The prank bids that were placed on the "107.7 the End Package" during Strangercrombie 2004, which The Stranger attributed to "the morons at Green River Community College's radio station (fuck you, KGRG!)" [Strangercrombie Wrap-up, Jan 5], were apparently placed at the behest of another local radio station. Though the culprits had both been associated with KGRG, an investigation has cleared KGRG and Green River Community College of blame for the incident, which remains under legal investigation with the FCC, FBI, and local law enforcement.

TWO STATES = FOUR SENATORS
EDITOR: I just got through perusing Mr. Kaushik's article on splitting the state ["Two-State Solution," March 10]. I'll admit I didn't read it too carefully, but I think he missed one very important consequence of splitting the state: two more conservative GOP senators in the U.S. Senate. I'm a little surprised that Kaushik missed this.

The issue is that the Senate skews representation in Congress away from states with large populations, and gives states with small ones a great deal more say than they would otherwise enjoy. In fact, that's the root of a lot of the problems that we're having on the national level now. Wyoming, in the Senate, is the equal of California. Idaho weighs as much as New York.

Splitting Washington would exacerbate this problem. It would create another two senators who will help the nuts in Washington D.C. lock in a national conservative majority in the Senate. Any advantages to Washington's western half from splitting would be outweighed by having right-wing legislation and judges rammed down its throat with the enthusiastic support of the two senators from the Eastern Washington.

Jonathan Fine

DAN SAVAGE RESPONDS: Did you read the piece at all, Jonathan? Kaushik didn't miss that point: ñIt's true that if Eastern Washington became its own (red) state, we would be adding two new conservative senators to the national political mix," Kaushik wrote. ñThat though is easily solvabe: Washington D.C. has been pressing for statehood for years, but the idea has never moved forward because Republicans don't want to create another liberal state. So... the feds could create two new states at once, a conservative one over here, and a liberal one in the other Washington."

CORRECTIONS: In his March 10 profile of M.I.A. ["Global Sound System"], Charles Mudede mistakenly referred to Maya Arulpragasam as "Maya Arular." Arular is the name of M.I.A.'s forthcoming debut album.

In her March 10 capsule review of the play Influence, Annie Wagner wrote "distinguished" when she meant to write "extinguished."

In her March 3 CD review of Math and Physics Club, Jennifer Maerz mistakenly referred to the band at one point as "Math and Science Club." Jennifer apologizes for the mistake, and would like to add that she realizes physics and science are not the same thing, not that she was good at either, although she was once good at math. And English.

More Letters

E. WASHINGTONIANS ARE SMRT

STRANGER: Kudos to Sandeep Kaushik for “The Two State Solution” [March 9]. Unlike the state’s two largest daily newspapers, who take great pains in their snobbish coverage to paint anyone who doesn’t live within spitting distance of Puget Sound as toothless, room-temperature-IQ cretins, your writer found plenty of thoughtful, articulate Washingtonians who happen to live east of the Cascades.

I would reject one of SK’s conclusions, however—that a newly-minted Eastern state would abandon conservatism and raise their taxes to rebuild infrastructure. Keep going a bit further east to Idaho, where an extreme right GOP political monoculture has produced pockmarked roads, scandalously bad schools and a nonexistent social safety net. I suspect that’s what an “independent” East would resemble.

Bill Will

Shoreline

TWO STATES=PIPE DREAM

OH, MY DEAR STRANGER: Sandeep Kaushik writes oh, so well! This issue regarding two states is a glorious pipe dream. How I wish I could bring this back to my hometown in Southern Oregon. Wait a sec! That’s the State of Jefferson, which enacted independence before the Second World War. And our plan would have worked, had it not been for the Nazi’s and our frivolous “unity.” If only we didn’t have such a nation as we do now, we might have a conducive environment for such a split. However, Bush and his congress (and I emphasize HIS congress) would not approve for two reasons.

Firstly, a split like that would be blatant proof that we really are not as united as our fucktard leader wants us to believe. Secondly, and most importantly, the last thing our closed-minded, conservative leaders would approve of is our Western Washington state immediately legalizing gay marriage, women’s choice, and marijuana. With our new “third world country” as a neighbor we would become prime candidates for addition axis of evil if we could just look like we might have some things resembling components of materials that might be used for possible weapons of mass destruction, but one can only dream!

Although I fully support the ideals we stand for in the West-Wash, I believe we are forever stuck with out East-Wash brothers. Nice article!

Joshua

TWO STATES=MOVEMENT!

EDITOR: The report by Sandeep Kaushik on the movement (can we call it that?) to split our state in two with Eastern Washington becoming a new state reminds me of the campaign a number of us conducted in 1968 on behalf of the Republican nominee for Land Commissioner, Richard A. C. Greene. An essential plank of his platform duly set forth in the voter’s pamphlet was that eastern Washington be transferred to Idaho and if they refused to accept it, we would invade. That solution has a great deal more to recommend it than the whining alternative now proposed, since it would avoid creating two new United States Senators (a sufficient blessing in itself), and would doubtless improve the benighted quality of Idaho politics. Alas, when the votes were counted, our candidate failed to carry Eastern Washington, suggesting that the proposal did not attract the support it should have, although Greene’s defeat could probably be more attributed to the opposition in Western Washington to his position on Indian fishing rights (also in the voter’s pamphlet) which was that any Indian under five feet tall must be thrown back. This was Greene’s first foray into politics and he announced from Hawaii where he took refuge “to avoid injecting personalities into the campaign” that he was content to run on his not unimpressive record—two arrests and no convictions—but it was all to no avail. He is best remembered today for his platform plank on Quilcene oysters—baked at high heat with a little chive, parsley, garlic and wine. As Casey Stengel used to say, you could look it up.

Byron D. Coney

TWO STATES = CANADIAN

SANDEEP: You write, “It's true that if Eastern Washington became its own (red) state, we would be adding two new conservative senators to the national political mix. That though is easily solvable: Washington, D.C. has been pressing for statehood for years, but the idea has never moved forward because Republicans don't want to create another liberal state. So, in a modern Missouri Compromise, the feds could create two new states at once, a conservative one over here, and a liberal one in the other Washington.”

I read this to my girlfriend and she immediately shot back: “Washington D.C. and Washington B.C.” Immortal words.

Barry McPhail

SEPARATE BUTT EQUAL

EDITOR: Sandeep Kaushik has written what I consider to be the most comprehensive and accurate portrayal of the underlying conflict between Eastern and Western Washington. Is it really so hard to understand and accept that someone else who lives in an area that you do not or leads a way of life that you don’t—gasp—makes them think differently than you do? Their issues are not necessarily your issues. They are not wrong and you are not right, only different. This is a real shocker, too: You are not any better or any smarter than they are. But someone you think you are. Oh well, what ever gets you through your closed minded day. The ironic part is that the republicans from Eastern Washington apply this misunderstanding to say someone who is member of the gay community and the liberals apply it to the farming community. By the way, I grew up in the Tri-Cities and have lived in Seattle for 25 years. Believe me, no matter where your ass is located your shit does stink.

Dan Foley

North Seattle

PITY THE RURAL REPUBLICANS

EDITOR: Christ on a crutch, I am so sick of listening to people from Eastern Washington piss and moan about not having a voice in state politics. Guess what assholes? For many, many years the most powerful politician in Washington state was from District 5 in Spokane. Forget about the fact that he was the third most powerful elected official IN THE COUNTRY. You idiots were constituents of the Speaker of the House of Representatives. Short of electing a president or vice president from your ass backward corner of the world, what more could you want? Oh, that’s right George “Term Limits” Nethercut. I for one am all for letting them secede. Nothing will change for them. There is a reason people like me, who were born and raised in Spokompton, get the fuck out as soon as possible. Not to come off as sounding like a Republican, but I am fed the fuck up with subsidising those dirt farming bastards. Go cry in your MGD.

Tim Beyer

TWO STATES = HO-HOS AND CIGARETTES

EDITOR: I recently read Sandeep Kaushik's article “The Two State Solution” and he makes some interesting points. Personally, I am sick and tired of arguing with my stepdad about whether or not Christine Gregoire needs to “stop whining and just accept she lost” one minute only to turn around a few hundred votes later and argue about how “it’s all rigged by people in King County,” but I don't think creating Reagan is the answer to anybody's problems. I grew up in Eastern Washington. Sandeep is correct. It is a different place. Life is a little simpler. The rules are a little more clearly drawn. People have a little different perspective on life. They don’t feel like they are being accurately represented in our state’s government. They are mad about it the same way that I am mad that I don’t feel represented by my nation’s government. It doesn’t mean that we just cut ties. I agree with The Seattle Times’ assessment. You are basically telling the pissed off 13-year-old kid in the family to go ahead and move into his own apartment so he can make whatever decisions he wants. That is the recipe for a 13-year-old living on Ho-Hos and cigarettes and a tearful reunion on Oprah, it isn’t good parenting. Environmental concerns are everyone’s. As a kid, I spent 20 years drinking radioactive and agricultural waste. I have to tell you that without our influence, they will have no problem turning their vast beautiful land into a dumping ground for whatever somebody wants to unload. Of course it’s bad, but most people there just want to solve the problem of having food on the table. They are willing to swill a little nuclear waste if it feeds the kids. Do we just stand by and let them make it worse? Shouldn't we be fighting to make sure that it isn't happening? They need our opinions the same way we need theirs. Our money buys us a seat at that table. Where is that money better spent? The Arts?

What are you saying, Sandeep? Anytime somebody doesn’t share our thoughts we should just hang out with more people who do—especially if it will save us some money? What is the next step to this plan? We just make King County a state of its own? What happens to Kent and Everett? Do we go ahead and lose those too? Hey, there are some neighborhoods in Seattle that are a little poorer than others, we should probably cut Beacon Hill out. Don’t worry, Sandeep, I'm sure that you and Tim Eyman can sit down together and come up with a solution that would enable you to just live up in a castle at the top of Capitol Hill and call it your own state.

One of the most progressive states in the nation? If we can't even help people that live next door to us see the light, what good is it? Personally, I don't see the point of creating a beacon so you have more like-minded people to hang out and agree with. Left and Right create balance. All Right and it’s all monster trucks. All Left and we are making it illegal to have clashing drapes. I know it hurts, but it’s time to be an adult. It’s time to solve problems. Reagan is not a solution to any problem. Working with people as a team in spite of your differences is. Clint Berquist Seattle, WA

WE ARE ALL NAZIS

DEAR SIR: If Sean Nelson really found anything portrayed in Downfall to be “deeply satisfying,” [On Screen, March 10] he missed the point of the movie. We have as much in common with Nazis as we do with their enemies and victims. It’s not tragic that in the end ardent Nazis didn't realize their cause was “untenable”; it’s tragic that we haven't learned much from them, and may not ever. Demonization is much easier than recognition, as Nelson's review illustrates. Hitler's secretary Traudl made clear in the postscript that after the war she came to understand her complicity, that her innocence was an illusion born of ignorance. It would be useful to everyone except politicians if we came to the same understanding. Downfall could have been shorter, but it's hardly a waste of time.

Paul Both

MAN AND WIFE AGREE!

EDITOR/ANNIE WAGNER: Bride & Prejudice was a terrible movie. It was so bad my wife and I agreed it was bad. How come it was suggested [Stranger Suggests, March 3]? Musicals are often whimsical and absurd, usually, but this was a musical that was just stupid. Bad movie. Bad story. Bad acting. Bad stereotypes. Bad, bad movie. Bad review. Bad recommendation. Bad Cinema. That one really “bit the big one.”

Theodore H. Millan

LETTERS TO OTHER EDITORS

KNUTE BERGER, EDITOR, SEATTLE WEEKLY: It’s kind of funny that your Mossback column this week [“Who the #$*! Are They?,” Seattle Weekly, March 10] is about what it is, that terrible and thinly-veiled excuse of a movie, What The #$*! Do We Know?, since The Stranger had a “caveat emptor” in the review of that film in their Film Shorts section for almost a year, since it started playing at the Uptown last summer. Sadly, the review is no longer there, probably since it moved to the Crest.

You really need to stay on top of things, Knute—especially before printing something that makes you look like a fool to people who read both Seattle Weekly AND The Stranger. Even if they usually only read the Weekly for the restaurant reviews... cheers!

Robert Holder

Seattle

HEY GRAB-ASS LADY: STRAP ON A PAIR

EDITOR: The correspondent [Letters to the Editor, More Letters, “She Didn’t Come Here to Play Grab-Ass,” March 10] says “I was asked...if I wanted to press charges, but it would most likely end up being fruitless” while simultaneously insisting that SPD should miraculously be ever-present to pounce on criminal behavior as it occurs. Lady, Seattle doesn’t want to pay for adequate policing, much less the omniscient and omnipresent level of presence you desire. Additionally, if you don’t have the balls to press charges, there isn’t jack SPD could do to punish the man who assaulted you even if SPD had been present. You had witnesses, the criminal walking away on foot (a black man, so fairly easy to spot in the U-dist), and you had ample access to a cell phone by your own account. Here’s an idea: Report crime. Have the balls to participate in prosecution instead of backing out, and stop blaming the rest of the world for your inaction. People do indeed do time for sexual assault and simple assault in Seattle. In fact, they do their time in the King County Jail where they sleep on the floor, cannot smoke, smell of the urine of others, are exposed to TB, lice and the mentally ill, are treated brutally by jail guards, and eat bologna for lunch 365 days per year. Take a tour sometime and see for yourself. Meanwhile, quit your whiner complaining if you can’t be bothered to report a sexual assault, thus leaving the offender free to assault others. Christ.

Name Withheld

IS THE POPE A DEMOCRAT?

STRANGER: I’m not Catholic, but you guys are definitely going to have to put that Pope/Rutabaga cartoon thing [“Kwiz Korner,” March 3] into the Regrets pile. A cartoon like that... you just don’t want to go there. Better off comparing, say, Jim McDermott to a rutabaga before you skewer the Pope like that. Tasteless. Tasteless. Tasteless.

Michele Sackman

NELSON DISRESPECTS SUPERSTARS

HEY SEAN: I just wanted to take a minute to respond to your scathing review of our new DVD, Remembering the ‘70s [DVD, October 28, 2004]. First, thank you for taking the time to check out some of the greatest performances by some of the greatest and legendary performers EVER in our business. I’m sure you’re too young to remember or probably have never even heard of some of these artists but I will do my best to enlighten you.

You are absolutely right on one point, things have changed in the last 30 years. I think that if you look at any 30 year span in history, you will find that things do change. It was pretty cool that a network (CBS) did devote prime time programming to showcase the TOP, not medium-sized artists but major artists that had the top ten chart busters of the day. If you would have taken the time to do your homework, you would know that Rollin’ On The River was the first television show of its kind. It opened the door to shows like Sonny & Cher and other musical variety shows. I guess you could call that a forerunner.

Kenny Rogers and The First Edition was much more than a rock band. In fact, we never referred to ourselves as a band. We were a group of entertainers. We did play and sing but we were performers that did it all. We were also the first of our kind to play Las Vegas. In the years that we played The Riviera, The International, (with Elvis) The Las Vegas Hilton or The Flamingo Hilton, I can’t remember not playing to a full house. In fact, at The Las Vegas Hilton, we still, today, hold the record for the most people for one show, the most people for an entire engagement and the most money made by the hotel for a single show and a single engagement. Because things have changed, that record will never be broken. So, to refer to us as a charmless rock band with a couple of medium sized hits is largely inaccurate. Just so you will know, we had million sellers with “Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In),” “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town,” “But You Know I Love You,” “Something’s Burning,” “Tell It All Brother,” “Heed The Call,” “Ruben James” and others but there is not enough space here to list them all.

You mention Jim Croce. Most artists I know still consider Jim to be one of the legendary singer/songwriters to ever come along. His creepy sideman was truly one of the great guitar players ever. You might want to check with Eric Clapton on that one.

Bill Withers’ “Lean on Me” just happened to be the number 1 record in the country and he had guested on every major variety show of the day.

The Grass Roots were friends of ours and had more top 10 records than us. I would say that justifies them.

You referred to the legendary B.B. King and Ike and Tina Turner as “legit stars.” I’m not sure I would characterize them as legit stars. I would have to call them true superstars.

You did mention that Al Green was GREAT. You did get one thing right. Thanks for that.

You might want to take another look at Remembering The ‘70s just to check the, so called, lip sync. Most performances were played live. There were cases of pre-recorded tracks but you will find that there were NO LIP SYNCS.

Thank you very much for your last line. “What in God’s name are you waiting for?” If you are old enough to remember these great artists, you will love Remembering The ‘70s.

Sean, I wish you only the best.

Mickey Jones

Drummer with Kenny Rogers and The First Edition.

SHARKANSKY: PRO

EDITOR: Welcome Sharkansky! [Sound Bite, March 10]. Finally! A reason to look forward to picking up a copy of The Stranger every week!!!

Janelle Nelson

SHARKANSKY: CON

EDITOR: Re: Stefan Sharkansky. He's a witch! Burn him! Regards.

Joe

SHARKANSKY: NEO-CON

EDITOR: Stefan Sharkansky is a charlatan! This guy is neo-con fanatic. He has been like a bull in a china shop around here. He has bulldozed his way onto The Seattle Times and the P-I, the Seattle Channel, and wingnut talk radio. Now look where he is!

He deserves better scrutiny. Why did he leave California? He blogs seemingly non-stop. Doesn’t he have a business to run? A job? Or is he just a rich bastard with nothing better to do?

His first column is a non-starter and I’m sure subsequent columns will be snorers as well. He’s shown a propensity to jump the gun and declare “bombshells” at every turn. He’s completely unreliable. Just take a look at soundpolitics.com and read the comments to some of his posts. See what the pied piper pulls in his wake.

I give him credit for one thing—he’s lit a fire under the elections system in this state—a system with flaws that get corrected at the normal rate of bureaucratic inertia. Despite being wrong at every step of the way, he’s forced people on both sides of the fence to look very closely at a system we’ve let run on autopilot for far too long.

Stewardia

SHARKANSKY: CONNIVING

DEAR THE STRANGER: A column for Stefan Sharkansky? What was Satan not available? Is Rush Limbaugh not returning your calls? And if you’re going to give him some room to write could you maybe limit it to one link to his page per column? (and on a completely unrelated note (carl-ballard.blogspot.com)

The man is so painfully, heartwrenchingly dishonest it’s amazing. His first column touches on two of his greatest dishonest recurring themes. First the general call for a recount because there are “electoral flaws.” Yet when the race was closer and most of the flaws were already know, he was calling on Gregoire to resign.

The other, more specific charge in this column has to deal with two separate lists of the 876,168 voters in King County made two separate ways don’t quite match. The explanation is of course that one is the list of everybody who’s signed into the books, and the other is the list made for the parties after the fact. They were never meant to reconcile.

I hope next week’s column (“I keep putting the same stuff into a spread sheet and get different answers, proving I’m always right”) will be an improvement. Seriously, maybe only one mention of the blog that called the Stranger “a bunch of pseudo-journo-wonks.”

Carl Ballard

RESPECT THE DEAD (IF NOT THE LANGUAGE)

hey STRANGE people: i'm a new reader/poet/artist/fucker in BEAUTIFUL NW montana.

you may not give a fuck about this email, but i am impressed by the DIVERSITY of yr writers--there is some talent there--(kinda like that small stain on my left shoe) (tigerliyhighheels)-(but i digress)-anyway, from a NEW READER beautiful work,

BUT please PLEASE think twice before you shit in yr own hand (i'm thinking of yr disgustin HST piece) [“Once I Exit The Calvarium, There’ll Be No More Pain,” New Column, Feb. 24.] maybe he's dead & we have the option to fuck im over but RESPECT is not born in reconstituted crap. anyway, luck & traps JRAustin

YOU CAN STOP PROTESTING NOW

EDITOR: Whether or not same-sex couples should be allowed to marry is a no-brainer: any right given to a citizen should be given to all citizens, equally. If people are against gay marriage, the only option under our constitution to to ban marriage for everyone. ‘Nuff said.

Joyce

MUTUAL ADMIRATION (OF ME)

DEAR DAN SAVAGE: Thanks for covering my efforts with Golden Handcuffs Review [“Large Risks, Kinky Sex,” March 10]. In AJ Glusman you have a real keeper: courage, good writing, real research.

Assuming you’d not shoot me for looking like a WASP like Mr. Keck, I think you and I could do more to get Seattle writing off its arse. I can get the best writers in the country here—the problem is the local venues go only for the safe, and the ones that experiment haven’t a clue how to promote what they’ve got.

When I read at Hugo House in the Subtext series with David Matlin, we sold out the theatre (and their readings are normally in the cafĂ©), because I got David onto KUOW with Steve Scher, and because I did a little agitating. A bit of history: so far as I know, the origin of The Stranger occurred in the ‘60s, when the New York Free Press, for which I wrote, collapsed itself to become Screw. The publisher of NY Free Press held readings (sold out) for Scwerner and Goodman and Chaney, and the combination of canny criticism plus publicity assured public events that worked, and were outspoken and challenging. Now of course weeklies can be political, artistic, and racy in one. Once of my friends at the time, who’d gone to jail as a war resister in WW2, went there again for carrying those weeklies. Anyway, let there be (more) commerce between us. And thanks again for the story. You should keep and promote Glusman. The divorce-pregnancy articles were very fine. Onward!

Lou

NOVAK? NO RENT!

EDITOR: Many thanks to The Stranger for reporting on Lou Novak’s guffaw at the State House [“Olympian Ignorance,” Sandeep Kaushik, March 3]. Novak’s ignorance underscores the need to continue funding for those affected by HIV/AIDS. Until a cure is found, rampant discrimination and ignorance will continue to flourish

For Mr. Novak’s information: Worldwide, there are more heterosexuals than homosexuals infected with HIV/AIDS, and unless Mr. Novak is privy to some knowledge I’m not, it’s because they are having sex of the standard procreational variety. About half of these HIV/AIDS cases affect women.

AIDS is a disease, like tuberculosis, or Ebola, for that matter. Yet, you never hear of anyone being blamed for breathing irresponsibly or without protection, or for playing around monkey poo (which, come to think of it, is really gross). People generally realize that someone happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got a crappy deal.

Mr. Novak could benefit by learning about compassion. I suppose that could happen some day, but in the meanwhile, would The Stranger do us a favor and post the addresses of all or Mr. Novak’s properties so I don’t ever rent from that sick, twisted bastard? Z.A. Tuscanue Seattle, WA

HIV/AIDS IS/ARE NO JOKE(S)

EDITOR: I would like to thank Mr. Savage for his up-front, no-nonsense approach to topics and questions especially with regard to personal accountability and responsibility in possibly preventing the spread of the AIDS pandemic. HIV/AIDS is a lethal virus that is killing straights, gays, bisexuals, and everyone in between.

It seems that the general public honestly believes that HIV/AIDS has been contained and a miracle cure is days away from being marketed. This misguided belief (along with media promotion) has resulted in an even more fevered pitch of promiscuity and random, anonymous sexual encounters, especially among teenagers and young adults. For some reason, HIV/AIDS has been placed on the back burner as per public education and information - more and more individuals are being infected with some people who have been diagnosed HIV/AIDS patients deliberately infecting as many partners as they can.

Please, please, continue promoting responsibility and accountability! What one person chooses to do to themselves is one thing, but when stupidity and malicious irresponsibility leads to the infection of others, it becomes an issue of willful endangerment and, in my mind, attempted murder. Perhaps Mr. Savage could address exactly how an individual with AIDS passes away—it isn’t pretty, it isn’t noble, it isn’t romantic and if just one person decides to practice “safe sex,” it would be worth the effort! Again, many thanks! EAR

I, ANONYMOUS, TOO

EDITOR: I know there’s really no point to this e-mail, but I needed to send this and tell someone: Yesterday I was thinking for the first time ever of sending something into I, Anonymous and I SWEAR TO GOD it was exactly what is in this week’s issue [March 10]!!! For a split second I actually almost thought that maybe I had had a few drinks and sent it in without remembering. The only thing I would have added is that at my work the restroom I use is small and has two stalls. It does not provide the privacy of a one-y or the anonymity of five or six stalls. I hate it when I go in there to do something “noisy” and have to wait until two little chatty kathys finish their conversation. If only I were uninhibited enough to really let one rip.

Anonymous

SKATE PARKS FOR ALL!

AMY JENNIGES: Hello and thank you for the article this week [“Skating on the Margins,” Mar 10] about the little skate park by the tracks. While skaters can do a kickflip on any sidewalk, one or two parks in a big city is not what I call sufficient. Like one gymnasium is not enough for all the town’s basketball players, one mediocre park (like Bellingham’s, for example) can’t be expected to satisfy a region of skaters. This pastime isn’t getting any smaller. Thanks for the coverage! Kevin Former B’hampster

YOU SAY SPRAWL, I SAY FREEDOM

MS. BARNETT: One man’s definition of sprawl and actions to prevent it destroy another man’s property rights and economic future [“Rural Ruse,” Erica C. Barnett, March 10]. Just how do Seattleites bear the environmental costs of Sprawl (your definition)? You live there and I live here. Unless my actions constitute public harm, if you have a problem with how I handle drainage or logging or clearing on my property for whatever reason, then don’t breath my air in Seattle.

Constantine (Chairman Mow) saying we are “burbites” masquerading as farmers is pure unadulterated hogwash. Dow is as phony as they come. He never saw a rural regulation he didn’t like because all his “environmental salvation” affects other people in other districts. Strouss is the exception because he was investing in land for profit, something done since the beginning of the country (sorry if this violates your outlook) and the basis of much wealth. Most folks own land they live on, raise a family and then development for retirement or their kids homes. Charles was wise to overextend to buy this property. 35 thousand square foot lots with million dollar homes are his neighbors. He applied (read spent big money) for development at this density and should have been vested. He would have been able to build about 50 homes. He was denied due to water availability but should have gotten approval once this was solved. In the meantime he was down zoned to 5 acre tracts. 50 to 8 homes. See the economic impact here?

You’d think that after a hit like this the county would bend over backwards to allow the new smaller development, but you would be wrong. Strouss applied (read spent more big money) for 8 lots out of his 40 acres. “Sorry Mr. Strouss, you are in the red zone (the whole rural area is in the ‘red’ zone) traffic concurrency rules prohibit the approval of your plat”. But the neighbor to the south got his concurrency certificate and he applied after Strouss. Why? Connections?

Bottom line, Charles is paying 15 thou a year taxes sitting on a couple million dollars worth of property he can’t do anything with that realizes the true value of the land. Pass muster with whatever sense of fairness you adhere to? Preston Drew Carnation, WA

E-MAIL CHAIN OF THE WEEK (IF NOT THE MONTH)

RE: “Rural Ruse,” Erica C. Barnett, March 10

——-Original Message——- From: Ron Ewart Sent: Thursday, March 03, 2005 8:14 PM Subject: Beware the consequences of speaking your mind To the Entire Washington State Legislature, government types, rural landowners and the news media:

And to all parties interested in what happens to you when you stick your head above the political waters. Government makes every attempt to put it back under the water. Here is my response to the Washington State Patrol after their clandestine, surprise visit to my home on Friday, February 25, 2005 at dinnertime, resulting from an e-mail I sent to the entire Legislature just 3 hours before. Sent by U. S. postage pre-paid Mail on March 4, 2005 Mr. Lowell M. Porter, Chief of the WASHINGTON STATE PATROL General Administration Building P. O. Box 42600 Olympia, WA 98504-2600

Dear Chief Porter: I was somewhat taken back by the visit from two State Patrol officers to my home at dinnertime last Friday, February 25, 2005, as a result of an e-mail message I sent to the Washington State Legislature. The more I thought about it, the madder and more offended I became. I have enclosed copies of the two e-mails that I sent in sequence to the Legislature, one before the visit from your officers and one after their visit.

And this is how I felt after the visit and a telephone call from another officer on Monday, February 28th. I had the distinct feeling that I was now in Soviet Russia with jack-booted thugs assailing my home and my rights of free speech, who were about to haul me off to jail. I know I didn’t meet the threshold for an arrest, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. Those officers scared my wife and that was after some nut came up to our home on a previous night and purposely ran over our lawn to send us an unmistakable message of intimidation. Now that was a threat. Where was the State Patrol to protect my interests and security then? I firmly believe that those visits from your officers and the telephone call, were done at the behest of government with the sole purpose to intimidate and muzzle me. I am now convinced more than ever, that Washington State is a police state and I have so communicated that conviction to many rural landowners all across the state and to the news media.

I am well aware, that you do not shout “fire” in a crowded theater. I am well aware you do not say “bomb” or “hijack” on an airliner without suffering severe consequences. But I made no such threat against any single person in or out of the legislature, nor did I make a threat to the entire legislature as a whole, or any other group. My e-mails explain what I said and what I meant. It was pure and simple a case of an over reaction by government and probably at the request of Rep. Geoff Simpson.

I am 67 years old with a bad heart. My life expectancy is tenuous. I have been married to the same woman for over 42 years. I have two grown children and three grand children. I never hurt anyone and have tried to be a law abiding citizen for most of my life, until government in all forms and your legislature that you protect so jealously, keeps passing idiotic laws that most folks will just ignore, either because they don’t even know the stupid law exists, or consciously ignores them on purpose. That’s the atmosphere they have created and that is the atmosphere you are protecting.

Although I will tone down my rhetoric a “little,” I will not be muzzled and I will not be intimidated from my right of free speech and you can take that to the bank. I am a proud American and my voice will be heard, whether government likes it or not. Respectfully, Ron Ewart Fall City, WA cc: The entire Washington State Legislature, the news media and many rural landowners.

—- From: Erica Barnett To: Ron Ewart Sent: Friday, March 04, 2005 4:58 PM Subject: CAO e-mails Ron, I’m a reporter at the Stranger, a weekly newspaper in Seattle. An aide at the King County Council passed along a couple of the e-mails you sent to the council and the legislature. I was wondering if you could tell me a little more about the e-mails and why you sent them.

Specifically: Do you live in a rural area yourself? Assuming the answer to the above is yes: Are you interested in developing your property, or do you oppose the CAO on ideological grounds? Why did you choose to use such inflammatory language (e.g., “someone is going to die and maybe many someones”; “Soviet Russia with jack-booted thugs”; etc.)? Did you anticipate a response from the council or legislature? If so, were you surprised by the response you got? What happened when the state troopers came out to your house? What did they tell you and what did you say in response? Any other information you’d like to give about your side of the story—why you’re angry at the council, your specific concerns about the CAO at the county and state level, etc.—would be appreciated. Thank you very much. Erica C. Barnett Staff Writer, The Stranger

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On Mar 4, 2005, at 6:26 PM, Ron Ewart wrote: HEY ERICA: I wouldn’t touch you or “The Stranger” with a 10-foot pole. I have seen your magazine. You are the in-city liberals and the idiots you vote into office that we rural landowners are fighting against. And it is right in character for one of the libs on the council, or one of their aides, to pass my e-mails on to you so that you could find a way to discredit me. Probably Dwight Pelz. He fits the description of some one who would read your “stuff”. I wasn’t born yesterday Erica. Go find another patsy. And to the King County Council member who’s aide passed my e-mails on to The Stranger. (See e-mail message below) Where do you come off passing my messages on to a magazine that has such a seedy reputation? That’s not their job, is it? It was a transparent attempt to make me look bad in the eyes of the “folks” who read that crap and probably hang on every word as if it was the gospel. A cheap trick at best. My suggestion would be to interrogate your aides to find out who perpetrated the act of transfer and summarily fire them. That’s what I would do, if they were my employee. You will notice that this e-mail has been forwarded to the entire county council, county executive and to most of the media in Seattle and Bellevue. Perhaps this is worth a main stream media story with the headline: “AIDE TO COUNCIL MEMBER PASSING PRIVILEGED COMMUNICATIONS TO ENQUIRER”. Hmmmmm!!! Ron Ewart —-

From: Erica Barnett To: Ron Ewart Sent: Monday, March 07, 2005 10:13 AM Subject: Re: CAO e-mails Ron, You may not be aware of this, but letters to public officials are not “privileged.” For more information, see the following: http://www.leg.wa.gov/RCW/index.cfm?section=42.17.260&fuseaction=section. Erica

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Sent: March 7, 2005 11:15:56 AM PST

To Erica of “The Stranger” Tabloid: We are well aware that letters or e-mails to public officials are not privileged. That was strictly done for illustration and emphasis in our first e-mail addressing this issue. But where does a public official, much less an aide for that public official, come off sending public letters (or e-mails) to the media in the first place, much less only one media outlet. That isn’t their job, is it? They didn’t send our e-mails to the Seattle Times or the PI, or the King County Journal. They only sent them to a liberal, left-leaning, inner-city publication called “The Stranger”. “The Stranger” falls into the print media category of the Star, or the Enquirer and some other of the more radical, far-out newspapers and rogue-type magazines. You can’t actually admit that “The Stranger” fits into the main stream media, now can you? The Stranger is a “tabloid” just like all the others I have mentioned. Why else would the front page of “The Stranger” include images and pontifications of lesbians and gays. It wouldn’t surprise me if you had reporters at the gay-lesbian demonstration/protest in downtown Seattle this weekend. However, that’s not exactly “family” stuff, now is it Erica? And NO, I am not a homophobe.

So the only purpose for that Democrat aide to send you our e-mails, was to promote a specific left-wing, radical, Democrat agenda. Public officials are supposed to be legislating under the confines of the U. S. and State Constitutions and enabling state law, not promoting to the media their one-sided, political agenda as the Democrats on the King County Council are so prone to do. (i.e. The CAO Brochure sent out in Dec. of 2004 and January of 2005 to rural landowners advocating and extolling the virtues of the CAO) I guarantee you that it wasn’t a Republican council member’s aide that sent our e-mails to you. So it was done to promote a specific Democrat agenda, pure and simple, wasn’t it Erica? And NO, we will not be aiding and abetting the Democrats with these kind of games by giving “The Stranger” any time, other than the time we devoted to this e-mail. If you use or print any of this e-mail, or our previous e-mail message, you will do so without my express oral or written authorization and we will be checking. If you do use any of it and if such print has even the slightest hint of misrepresentation, mis- characterization, omission of material facts, libel or slander, be assured we will sue for damages. Ron Ewart Fall City, WA cc: corporate attorney —- Begin forwarded message:

From: “ron ewart” To: “Constantine, Dow” “Pelz, Dwight” [and many other politicians and media outlets] Subject: Article in the Stranger Tabloid Dwight and Dow (aka, Chairman “Mao”): I have little or no patience for law makers who have all the characteristics of being constitutionally naive and stupid as well. From the recent Stranger article (a Seattle Tabloid): “‘Dwight Pelz, a South Seattle county council member whom Ewart targeted as one of many public officials with “socialist [and] environmentalist” views, calls Ewart part of “an ideological group that has convinced itself that [the CAO] is not only unconstitutional but treasonous.’“ So if you believe that the Constitution is the supreme law of the land (which it is), you are part of an ideological group. Really!! I targeted Dwignt Pelz and his brethren as radical socialists and environmentalists and what they have done and are doing, is treasonous. Because this is the fact: “Reasonably protecting the environment is laudable. Trashing the Constitution to do it is treasonous.” And again in the Stranger article from Dow Constantine: “‘The problem for officials like Constantine (That’s Chairman “Mao” Constantine) is that the “rural way of life” is increasingly a euphemism for suburban sprawl. “The people we hear from are not farmers. They’re not foresters. They’re suburbanites,” Constantine says.’“

Not farmers, not foresters, only suburbanites? Ludicrous. I knew you were sleeping when all those farmers, foresters and rural landowners wasted their time giving two minutes of their vehement opposition to the CAO. There were hundreds of them. I knew you were sleeping or yawning when the Republicans were shouting their vociferous opposition to the CAO. You Chairman “Mao” are blinded by your rabid belief in the environment at any cost. Screw people, landowners and taxpayers. It’s Chairman “Mao’s” way or the highway. I’ve watched you at those hearing with your holier-than-though high-brow attitude. God how do you sleep at nights.

What these two “law makers?????” illustrate and many like them, is their total lack of American history and their total mis-characterization and naive understanding of the supreme law of the land, our Federal and State Constitutions. Yea, I know “Dow” is an attorney, but all the more reason that he should know better. Secondly, like so many other Democrats, Dwight and Dow have bought into the radical environmental notion that somehow, suburban sprawl is bad. And they and their ilk have brainwashed an entire culture with this non sense. Cities like Seattle (where they live), could have never been built, first under the mandate of stopping urban sprawl at all costs and second, would have never gotten the permits to do what has been done for over 140 years since the City of Seattle came into existence. How many trees and black berries did the residents of Seattle destroy. Now they want to stop the rural areas from doing exactly what the City of Seattle and all other older cities have done for decades and decades. That folks is hardly equal protection under the law.

The real facts are, urban sprawl created safe, affordable, non-congested neighborhoods with the freedom of “space” and “security”. Now look what we have under the GMA and now the CAO. People and houses stacked like cord wood on top of each other. And people crowded into apartments where if someone smokes in bed, all the rest of the residents become homeless. Watch over time what their dream of environmental utopia will become. Just another slum neighborhood.

The other myth, a reality that this State’s Growth Management Act (GMA) totally ignores, is that people behave well in congested neighborhoods where the environmentalists want all of us to live in densities of 55,000 people per square mile. One only need look at the decay in our inner cities all across America to dispel this myth, the direct result of high density and stopping suburban sprawl. Ask yourself folks, where are the highest density of cops, congestion, road rage and pollution? In the rural areas? Hardly! I could have sworn I live in America, not Hong Kong or Singapore.

So until the citizens of this once great land wake up and see through the transparency of these folk who would rule you to death whether you like it or not, we will have to suffer through the Dwight’s and the Dow’s of this world who have found themselves in power because of an ill informed and generally blind electorate.

Well this is one citizen that is not going to lay down and play dead while the Dwight’s and the Dow’s of the world trash our constitution and our American way of life. I have only begun to fight. Stay tuned. Ron Ewart Fall City, WA

E-MAIL CHAIN OF THE WEEK RUNNER-UP (AKA LONGENBAUGH VS. STRANGER, ROUND TWO)

Re: Influence capsule review, Theater Listings, Annie Wagner, March 10.

EDITOR’S NOTE. A few facts: These e-mails refer to a preview and subsequent review of the play Influence, which is currently running at a theater in Seattle, and also to an e-mail exchange printed in last week’s Stranger. The writing of the play is credited to “Tom Folger,” while John Longenbaugh is the dramaturg, as well as the artistic director of the company that is producing the play. Last summer, a play called Influence—in all substantive ways the same play currently running—was workshopped in the FringeAct festival. At that time, the play was billed as having been written by “John Longenbaugh,” who was also the director of the reading. The play Influence is about the difficulty of being both a theater critic for a weekly newspaper and a playwright/director in Seattle during the mid-to-late-‘90s. John Longenbaugh was both a theater critic for a weekly newspaper and a playwright/director in Seattle during the mid-to-late-‘90s. It is unclear whether Longenbaugh is the only person who uses the pseudonym “Tom Folger.” It is also unclear whether there is a third party named “Tom Folger” involved in this e-mail exchange—including the original e-mail that sparked this entire chain. The authorship of that original e-mail—much like that of the plays of Shakespeare—remains in dispute. There is a photograph of “Tom Folger” in the program for Influence, and it is not a picture of Longenbaugh.

The program states that “Tom now lives in Portland with his wife and two cats.” Portland directory assistance had no listing for a “Tom” or “Thomas Folger.” The Portland Pseudonym Directory could not be reached for comment.

There is a photograph of Longenbaugh in the Influence program.

There is also a drawing of Longenbaugh in the program.

——-Original Message——-

To: Annie Wagner [and other local media]

From: Theatre Babylon, John Longenbaugh

Subject: PR: Theatre Babylon’s “Influence” sponsors special arts panel

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 08:25 AM

Theatre Babylon’s pleased to announce a special post-play panel discussion on local media arts coverage, following tonight’s performance of Influence, a new comedy by Tom Folger.

Tom is a theatre critic who’s decided to produce an autobiographical play that he’s written. That’s crazy. But is he any crazier than anyone else involved in theatre? How about his girlfriend Emma, played by an actress who can’t stop sleeping with her leading men? Or his best friend and editor Bryce, who’s played by an actor who’s considering quitting to become an audience member, “maybe even a subscriber?” Or the actor playing his younger, more charismatic self? Or the actress that has such a small part that she can’t shut up about how few lines she has?

Following the Friday March 11th performance Influence will be a special post-play discussion with former Seattle Weekly editors and writers, including newsman and columnist James Bush, arts editor Kathryn Koberg, art critic Sheila Farr, and founder and chief editor David Brewster, with the dramaturg John Longenbaugh (former Weekly theatre critic) moderating. The topic will be: “Alternative Papers, Alternative Arts: Are Either Fulfilling Their Mission?”

Come see the show that the P-I found “an intriguing, if brow-furrowing ramble,” the Weekly claims features “enough solid, well-paced narrative and top-tier acting to make these confessions of a burnt-out theatre snob appealing,” the Times admits features “a spree of amusing, opinionated, often barbed one-liners,” and The Stranger’s Amy Wagner found “deeply embittered.” (Amy also mistakenly used the word “distinguished” instead of “extinguished” in her review. But what do you want from The Stranger?) (well, what do you want from the critics?)

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From: Annie Wagner
To: Theatre Babylon
Cc: John Longenbaugh
Sent: Friday, March 11, 2005 10:20 AM

Hi—

It’s true that I used the word “distinguished” rather than “extinguished” in my review. That was pretty dumb, and I appreciate the correction. My name, however, is Annie, not Amy. In the Supreme Court of Orthographical and Typographical Errors, it seems we’re both pretty much fucked.

xo Annie Wagner

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From: John Longenbaugh

To: Annie Wagner

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 3:33:03 PM

That’s sort of true.

However, you’re being published, whereas I’m sending an e-mail.

You supposedly have an editor, and you’re supposedly being read by (going off the numbers I recall) something like 120,000 people [ED. NOTE: According to Media Audit, an independent national media auditing company, The Stranger enjoys a weekly readership of 320,000 people.], whereas I was read by about fifty or sixty.

So in the Supreme Court that you appeal to, I’m guilty of a misdemeanor, and you’re guilty of a felony, or perhaps even a capital offense.

And regarding bitterness, Ms. Wagner, you routinely display in your reviews the deep bitterness and cynicism that only the young and inexperienced show.

Perhaps after you’ve written something more substantial than a term paper or a Stranger review, you’ll find that much of this is simply silly affectation, and can come to theatre with some more pleasure and satisfaction.

Best,

John

—-

From: Annie Wagner

To: John Longenbaugh

Sent: Friday, March 11, 2005 4:13 PM

Ah, but since I have an editor (and a copy editor, and a proofreader), my error should have been caught by at least three other people, all of whom must share culpability—and, I would argue, divide the blame. (You, on the other hand, must assume sole responsibility for your email.) My defense attorney ought to be able to have the offense reduced to a misdemeanor. In any case, we’re running a correction next issue.

As regarding bitterness: I don’t have much to be bitter about. I’ve been very lucky; I enjoy my job and I find it rewarding. The people who assume I’m bitter have generally just been burned by something I wrote. So I don’t find your arguments, or your facile assumption that my age has much to do with the quality of my writing, very compelling. And I have a suspicion that my master’s thesis was a little more intellectually “substantial” than your average term paper—or, dare I say, full-length play.

I take great satisfaction and joy in stimulating plays done well. I’ve written plenty of reviews that amply demonstrate the pleasure I take in theater. Yours wasn’t a play that I found particularly exciting, but that’s ok. There are other critics, and other audience members.

—Annie

From: John Longenbaugh

To: Annie Wagner

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 4:54 PM

Good to see my criticism can raise a few welts.

I’d have preferred, for my friend Tom’s sake, to have had a review from you that took on “Influence’s” serious criticism of arts writing in this town, instead of a breezy and dismissive collection of poorly-aimed invective, but as you rightly say, there are other critics, and other audience members, who might be able to deal with those issues in more depth.

Since you seem eager to engage in some competitive writer pissing: I’ve written a Master’s thesis (University of York, England, 1990, English and American Turn-of-the-Century Literature), as well as six years of theatre criticism, and eight full-length plays. Any one of the plays was more of a challenge than the eight months I spent on the thesis, which was frankly mostly just a chance to read a lot of novels that I enjoyed and a lot of critical writing that I didn’t. Academia’s a game, and theatre criticism is parasitic pseudo-journalism. (I say this as someone who received accolades in both fields.) Plays are an artistic challenge, even after ten years of writing them.

If you doubt me, write a full-length play. Then we’ll talk.

Best,

John

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To: John Longenbaugh

From: Annie Wagner

Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 11:43 AM

Insufferable arrogance can raise hackles; I wouldn't say I suffer from welts.

Indeed, let's talk about “your friend Tom.” What “serious criticism of arts writing in this town”? The facile equation of substance abuse with arts patronage? The “self-deprecating” joke about critics as failed beings? Or the barely veiled digs at Steve Wiecking—whom I've mocked just about enough already? Would you prefer that I took offense at a character (who's written as the masturbatory creation of a narcissistic, pseudo-intellectual goofball) who thinks it’s below his dignity to write for my paper (as though he could waltz right in any time he liked)? As you are aware, I've written about arts criticism in this town, and if I thought Influence had something new to add to the discussion, I'd have been thrilled. I love talking about plays with real live ideas in them. And that’s why I decided to devote the space to The Secret in the Wings instead. The only thing I can really say about Influence is it's not surprising that you have nothing interesting to say about theater criticism if you think it can only aspire to the state of “parasitic pseudo-journalism.” (By the way, are you capable of measured debate? It seems like you prefer to pick fights.)

I’m not interested in pissing contests. You were the one who laid on the syrupy condescension about substantive writing. I think it's just great that you were able to write a thesis without lifting your little pinky. Seems like you got a lot out of your second-rate British institution—snobbery, provincialism, prodigious self-regard... oh, and an education.

Best, Annie

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From: Tom Folger

To: postmaster@thestranger.com

Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2005 02:43AM

HELLO, MR. KECK: Tom Folger here. John left me a voice message saying that you had asked for me to give a call to you. With all due respect, I don't want to. I feel bad about sending out the first note (to your listings person, not to your Letters to the Editor or anyone else) because it looks like John got pulled into a big mess with Dan and everyone else. So leave me out of this. However, I would repeat what I and John have both said several times now: Dan Savage was mistkaen in assuming that note came from John. And he was very mistaken in publishing our private correspondence. His comments made to me, assuming I was John, were possibly slanderous but were certainly unwarranted and rude. I have no desire to give him or you any more information as to my identity, as I've seen how you tend to treat people in print.

Sincerely,

Tom

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EDITOR’S NOTE: At 10:02 AM on Tuesday, March 15, The Stranger received an e-mail from John Longenbaugh stating that all future correspondence from him was not for publication, a demand this publication has a policy of honoring. The e-mail also attempted to retroactively claim that all prior e-mails from Longenbaugh (and by association, Tom Folger, though we received no such communication from “him”) was not meant for publication, thus attempting to render a communication between Longenbaugh (and possibly Folger) and known representatives of this publication, sent to the publication, specifically rebutting/attacking articles printed in this publication, to be retroactively off-the-record. In order for such comments to have been considered off-the-record, they would need to have been identified as such at the time they were made, not several days later. Correspondence received by postmaster@thestranger.com, editor@thestranger.com, letters@thestranger.com, or any other Stranger e-mail address, especially when it responds to articles published in The Stranger, is considered to be a submission for publication on the letters page unless otherwise indicated.