Last weekend was the premiere of the Shittiest Band in Seattle contest at the Sunset (AKA Shit by Shit West), an event that was both humorous and tedious (the audio torture was nearly medicated by massive amounts of beer) as 10 bands competed for the coveted title of worst band in Seattle. That crown of crap went to Deusex, a murky-sounding gothic industrial band who dedicated their opening song to submissives and seemed to be the unanimous favorites of us judges (including Chad Queirolo from the Showbox, Matt Olsen of Sonic Boom, Mudhoney's Mark Arm, and Megan Jasper from Sub Pop--who commented, American Idol-style, that Deusex made her "asshole pucker"). The entrants for SBIS ranged from "real bands" (i.e., mediocre punk, garage, and indie rock groups with low self-esteem) to joke groups like Steaming Wolf Penis, who purposely played out of tune and were one of a couple of bands to show up in costume. The Sunset's green room was full of shitty beer, the stage was backlined with the shittiest amps Trading Musician could offer, and the DJs played the good shit from the '80s' hair-metal heyday. Best of all, our host, Jimmy Flame, got shitty drunk, making him one of the most entertaining and humorous parts of the whole shitty night. (I have to say, though, that I was probably the shittiest judge, as I got drunk and left before Deusex got their prize. I couldn't take it by the end, and went to see the final three songs by the Piranhas at the Comet--a performance capped by the singer, a hairy wolfman-looking dude, keeling over and puking on the floor.) Even with all the discomfort, I'm looking forward to round two of Seattle's "SXSW," only with one plea for the Sunset--please don't allow the bands to play more than one song apiece.

In what they hope won't be a bunch of shitty shows, the Fun House is preparing to put on a full weekend of bands as part of its NW Punklife Festival, which runs Saturday, May 29, through Monday, May 31, from 2:00 p.m. until 2:00 a.m., and features a variety of good local punk--from Johnny Skolfuk and the Neins to the Rabid Dogs on Saturday. Sunday features BlöödHag, the Diskords, Amazombies, and the Hollow- Points. Six bucks per day gets you all the bands you can stomach, and they'll have a barbecue there, as well as wrestling and Rat City Roller Girls.

Also up this weekend, how sad that the same show that's a CD release for Electric Blanket (Saturday, May 29, at the Hideaway) is also their farewell to Seattle, as they hit the road for a tour afterwards and then lose their frontman, Cody Marvin, to San Francisco. The band's debut CD, Old Haunts, has hints of Hot Snakes in its overdriven sound, but the band also weaves darker, angular melodies, hard chorus chants, and math rock influences into their aesthetic. The best thing about the disc is the Blankets' dry lyrical wit, with Marvin getting all worked up over mandatory naptime, Dance Dance Revolution, and having friends help him move. Playing with Electric Blanket are two of their favorite local acts, the talented Pulses and the Fallouts, rounding out this debut/farewell show.

And if you agree that something's got to be done about the young'uns making poor music choices, there's a new local nonprofit on the case of teaching kids how to rock, DIY style. Rock Around the Block pairs up kids from the Boys & Girls Clubs in Ballard and the Central District with local musicians willing to teach them everything from the basics of playing an instrument to tackling promotion and publicity. The organization is asking for a commitment of one hour-long class a week for one month, and if you're down for the cause, contact Lori Campion at rockaroundtheblockseattle@yahoo.com.

For me, the best thing about Shorty's is the cheap hot dogs and beer (although I've yet to try their hangover breakfast, which, if memory serves, includes a cigarette, aspirin, bloody mary, and hot dog for a very low price), but there are those much more skilled than me who head to the Belltown bar for pinball. For those (female) competitive types, mark you calendar for Shorty's Second Annual Powder Puff Pinball Tournament on June 13. Although the stakes are high for the gamely ladies who compete (first prize is a pinball game of your very own), the event is free to the public and only $5 to enter. Those interested should swing by Shorty's.

One final note to those caught under the spell of U.S. Maple last week: I've never seen a band so on the verge of collapse that held things together so intensely. Frontman Al Johnson's face ticced like he was loaded on heart-attack amounts of cocaine, and his mumblings to himself didn't help quell that impression (although maybe it was all an act). The music was a stunning deconstruction of post-everything, a brooding storm of conflicting instrumental parts, disorienting rhythms, and murky undertones. Pretty fucking weird, but definitely a cool band to witness live.

jennifer@thestranger.com