Forget "sometimes": In 2012, the truth is consistently stranger than any fucked-off fan fiction you can find. Don't trip on the bullshit, though—shouts to them GOP Bogus Boys (and shouts to this paper's editorial director, Dan Savage, for his epic sonning of Rethuglican hopeful Rick Santorum... go look it up), Drake and Common's sorriest rap beef ever (#teamlightskin), and Blue Ivy Carter. Hey, happy birthday!

Hold the center. Be good to people. Remember where you're from. Be like local institution Gabriel Teodros, who's celebrating the release of his deepest, most heartfelt release yet, Colored People's Time Machine, over at Chop Suey on Thursday, January 19, with celebrated Meklit Hadero, OC Notes, Spyc-E, WD4D, and EarDr.Umz. Check the video for the beautiful BeanOne-laced opening track, "Blossoms of Fire," where GeeTee claims "NW-centric, Soufend specific." Way to be.

Be like the always-upright Fatal Lucciauno, who just released the first Jake One–produced banger from his finally-set-to-drop second album, Respect. The joint is called "Amazing" and sports a relatable exasperated chorus from J.Pinder ("I'm so tired of fighting/It's amazing") as Fatal pledges to "stay in touch with the streets like a king should." Salute!

At Nectar, also on the 19th: Serius Jones, the NJ battler who gets nuff props from me for ably pwning Charles Hamilton in a barbershop. Also bringing the bars that evening: Mic Phenom, Wizdom (whose Unearthed EP is out now), and Kalligraphy.

Sol is about to release his first "official" album, the Kickstarter-funded Yours Truly. The first single, "Stage Dive," is characteristically spacious, as Sol is duly gracious to all the fans holding aloft his dreams. The MC, complete with devoted fan base and no lack of ambition, makes it clear he wants next out of the town, taking inspiration from his big bros. The Nima Skeemz–produced beat recalls "Vipassana" off Macklemore's VS. EP, as Zilla references Language of My World. The CD release goes down at Neumos on Friday, January 20, with award-winning Canadian MC (no Drizzy) Shad, young lifers Brothers from Another, and the worldly OG Supreme La Rock. (If you love your angsty Midwest rap, though, you want to be at Nectar for Stophouse's rising live wire Prof and the MC Type.)

Sunday, January 22, brings a challenge to chronic abusers of Cali hardcore shit. Neumos has LA's braided-up duke of g-rap Nipsey Hussle (in the house!), along with heavy-in-the-game locals Eighty4 Fly, Avatar Young Blaze (whose Humble Villain comes soon, check that "Fly High" video), as well as Bonaphied. If your allegiances lie a few hours north, though, don't miss SF's clownin' ass Roach Gigz, whose post-thizz/hyphy Yay Area buffoonery is raw and entertaining if you have a yen for Bay shit (aka you're not a dick). Roachy is at Nectar tonight with the Jacka's homeboy Berner and Clyde Carson, (former?) Black Wall Street affiliate, but more importantly, the illest third of the Team, a slept-on trio of Oakland heavy hitters who just dropped the Hell of a Night EP, their first tunes in a couple of years. Keep the faith, keep the stress, and get a medical card.