Seattle is so behind the times. Here, we have album releases and nobody even gets hurt (generally). We should be taking cues from the King of the South: T.I. has been getting his numbers (first week: 500K) on T.I. vs. T.I.P. the hard way—by reportedly beating people in the fuckin' head. Too bad his whole "two people in one body" shtick was tired back when Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin were sharing a body (look it up, youngsters)—and nobody was getting eye-jammied then. First there was the fistfight he had with Ludacris's manager Chaka Zulu at Kevin Liles's (Warner Music Group) Make It Happen event in Hollywood. Way to make it happen! Then there was the fan who claimed he got mic-checked in the fo'head last week for throwing a cup at young Clifford. He should've known better, dog... Do I have to say it? Sprewell!!! All I know is, somewhere Keith Murray is sitting in anger-management class, reading about all this in the new Vibe, mumbling "swagger jacker..."

Sunday, July 22, after Pista sa Nayon at Seward Park—big ups to all my Filipino peoples—Havana will be featuring the all-star squad known as the Triple Threat DJs, San Francisco's legendary disc jocks Apollo (Invisibl Skratch Piklz), Vinroc (5th Platoon), and Shortkut (Beat Junkies), not to mention the hardcore styles of the Massive Monkees. Since this night is also the local favorite Fresh Produce (big ol' ups to party-wreckin' Seattle institution Soul One and our man Marc Sense), the Triple Threat is keeping it extra spicy; Vinroc will be rocking Kanye West, DJ Apollo's spinning all Dr. Dre, and Shortkut will bless us with that Dilla... it's gonna be a funky good time! Also, there will be a FREETriple Threat Myx CD to everyone who comes through the door! This momentous event is brought to you by myx.tv, the upstart online TV channel that our man Karim Panni (that's Nightclubber Lang of the Boom Bap Project to you) works for. Buy my man a goddamn Long Island or three if you see him by the bar—and you will. Also, "let's give it up for Massive," because our favorite local WORLD-CHAMPION b-boy crew (currently prepping to set out on the Warped Tour) will be one of the 2007 recipients of the Mayor's Arts Award in a Seattle Center ceremony on August 31. Seattle, could you just Stand Up?

Baldhead Slick, Ill Kid, Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal... Whatever you want to call him, he's still the Guru (of the almighty NYC icons Gang Starr), and he and his live band will be styling on you at Chop Suey on Tuesday, July 24. Yes true believers, this is the Jazzmatazz tour that was delayed way back in April. If you bought tickets to that bad boy, bring 'em to this one. Now, when is that Pharoahe Monch tour gonna happen? I'm dyin' ova heah!

Also, before I go, I wanna send a fat shout to all our incarcerated MCs—Kuddie Mak, Fatal Lucciauno, 151, Skuntdunanna, A-Train, and Hill-B. If y'all see this: Keep your head up. recommended

hiphop@thestranger.com