Our hosts are announcing their engagement the way an engagement should be announced: among friends, in fancy dress, and with enough alcohol to kill a professional football team. First there are the pewter shot glasses filled with sour lemon drops and then there's the Boot, a glass cowboy boot filled to the brim with fancy German beer that gets passed around. If you get handed the boot, you have to take as deep a drink as you possibly can, and then pass it on. One man drinks from the bottom of the calf all the way down to the sole of the foot and then points at his wife: "Oh, you are so getting laid tonight, because I am hammered." A woman in the crowd scoffs: "Lucky girl."
Amid all the boozery, though, the party is sweet like a middle-school dance: There's a wall done up for fancy couple's portraits, and lots of ladies are wearing corsages. Two women are upstaging the bride-to-be by wearing wedding dresses. The scales are evened when there's a vote for king and queen of the party, and predictably, the hosts win and claim their victory dance: "Say You, Say Me." The hiphop gauntlet gets thrown, to the tune of Snow's "Informer," and everybody gets (a licky boom boom) down. I begin to discuss wedding plans with the host when he suddenly gets into a wrestling match with his best friend, tossing him against a wall and fake humping him. The bride-to-be makes doe eyes at her Prince Charming. "That's my fiancé. I love him so." Naturally.
Want to explain your wedding dress to The Stranger—"this was my father's husband's dress, he wore it at their wedding"—at your house party? E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to email@example.com.