The band is already playing when Party Crasher arrives: Two guys are playing guitar and keys, and a girl—wearing frilly knickers and what looks like a kid's dress—sings in a bluesy drawl. They are the Passive Disaster, and they're providing the entertainment for a cozy early Saint Patrick's Day celebration. Saint Patrick is honored, as always, with Ireland's most traditional drink: lime green Jell-O shots.

Some people make their way to and from a hot tub somewhere in the unlit backyard, coming back in through the kitchen still dripping wet. The Passive Disaster play a song inspired by Risky Business, in which they command the audience to drop trou and dance, with their singer leading by example (although, her outfit being a dress, that actually just means hiking up her skirt a bit to show off the aforementioned knickers). A few audience members gamely drop their pants, but then leave them bunched around their ankles, inhibiting much dancing business, risky or otherwise.

The house is nice: hardwood floors, walls smartly decorated with framed art photographs, good moldings. Magazines available for bathroom reading: ReadyMade, Beer Northwest. In the kitchen, people pose for photos with a tiny green leprechaun hat. A partygoer has spiked her already-spiked punch with more booze and then mixed that with beer: "In college, it's called a Pink Panty Dropper." Another apologizes: "We're kinda drunk, sorry. We started doing Jell-O shots three hours ago." Someone concurs: "Saint Patrick's Day! Woooo!"

Want to tell The Stranger why the Green Lake soccer field is the worst in the city (answer: It's made of dirt and sand) at your house party? Send the date, place, time, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.