While searching the perennially crowded Capitol Hill for parking, we suddenly get a sense of dread. There's a flashing light ahead. "Oh no! The party's been busted by the cops already!" we lament, driving closer to see if anyone is getting arrested. Of course, we had forgotten a vital part of the invitation--this is a party based on the fake police-reality show Reno 911. Of course there were fake police lights! Duh! But our little jaunt around the block is rewarded with the discovery that real cops are waiting on the corner.

We finally park and mount the seemingly thousands of stairs to the house. People are sitting on the stoop, and they don't seem particularly dressed up. When we get inside, it's a different story. There are paramedics go-go dancing in a makeshift cage decorated with chalk body outlines; bushy-mustachioed '70s-style cops are boogieing to Blur; and a woman whose badge is labeled Lacey (of Cagney & Lacey, apparently) walks around handing out Jell-O shots in little cups labeled with the names of various medications. We ask people what they are dressed as, and they give us various hilarious answers, all based on the theme. A man in a white tank top tells us he's a wife-beater, even though his husband is in the other room.

There are two bars, one in the kitchen and one in what we call the "Wheel Room," the latter named because it has a giant wheel on the wall. The wheel is tri-colored and labeled with different drinks, like beer and whiskey punch. We spin the wheel and land on the punch--only to find out that most of the other wheel contestants have been landing on the same spot, and that all of the whiskey punch has been consumed. It was the only lame part of an otherwise awesome party.

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