You feel a certain kind of fear when a circular saw is flying eight feet in the air toward your general direction. Even if you vaguely understand the laws of physics and you know that there's no way the circular saw is going to fly directly into your skull, you can't help but think, "That circular saw is going to fly directly into my skull." So when the circular saw smashes into a BMW and skitters around the pavement instead, you're elated: Not only did the circular saw not give you a lobotomy, it also fucked shit up. That's the glory of Hazard Factory's Power Tool Race and Derby.

Hazard Factory is an eight-person live-in arts collective based out of four adjoining houses. Mostly they weld stuff to other stuff and play with fire, but once or twice a year they hold the Derby. Contestants come bearing chain saws on wheels, belt sanders attached to radio-controlled cars, and grinders strapped to skateboards. With the assistance of miles of extension cords, they race their modified tools in head-to-head competition and in jumps.

Race officials set up a ramp at the end of the track, and contestants run their power tools straight into the air. Targets include four spinning garbage cans (aka "Power Tool Skee-Ball") and a beaten-up BMW. One tool that incorporates a hair dryer is nearly destroyed from racing all day; but, running on pure hate and hellfire, it takes out the windows of the BMW to the roar of the crowd.

Fuck NASCAR—this is the sport of the future.

Want to tell The Stranger that "Next week, we're going to do the whole thing over again, only we're going to light the tools on fire" at your house party? E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com