Sure, lots of people got drunk at the Bacon Salt–sponsored Bacathlon (for further proof, see Drunk of the Week, page 51). There were all kinds of themed drinks, including one that was just a shot of Maker's with a piece of bacon in it. And, sure, on a whim, a couple of those drunk people got free, very permanent bacon tattoos at the party (including someone who had never gotten a tattoo before in his whole life). And, sure, local celebrities like Seattle Sounder Ben Dragavon took part in competitive bouts of beer pong and a game that involved tossing raw pieces of bacon at a hole in a board.
But if you're just going to focus on the drunken excess, you're ignoring the fact that partyers gathered to raise more than $5,000 for Ashley's Team, a charity that benefits kids with cancer and the families who love them. Plus: History was made. Seattle's preeminent competitive eater, Erik "the Red" Denmark, ate two pounds, eight ounces of bacon—130 strips!—in exactly 10 minutes, setting the world's record.
People treated their lips with bacon-flavored lip balm, ate BLTs slathered in Baconnaise, and enjoyed Bacon Pop (surprisingly delicious bacon-flavored microwave popcorn). They dipped their vegetables in bacon-flavored ranch dressing. One small man, no doubt seduced by all the love in the air, danced like a hippie until he nearly got clobbered by a drunken man dressed as a giant piece of bacon riding at top speed on a tricycle. His eyes bugged from his head, and his hippie dance evaporated into self-preservation. Suddenly sober, he went to get another drink. Bacon giveth, and bacon taketh away.
Want The Stranger to develop a mad crush on the Rat City Rollergirl named Sheeza Brickhouse at your house party? Send the date, place, and party details to email@example.com.