The music is barely audible from outside the front door, but once it opens, I'm entering a giant house-shaped speaker filled with people discovering the human body's million points of articulation through the bass beats of Dr. Dre. Sweat is pouring out of them as quickly as drinks are going in, and it seems like you can see the red and blue plastic cups wearing down from endless refilling. If this party feels like the complete opposite of an AA meeting, it's only because the house is cramming three parties into one.

One of the housemates, Gus, will soon be leaving with his wife, Laura, on a six-week vacation to Turkey. Throughout the night, they're randomly offered well wishes and farewells. Another housemate, Tahara, is celebrating her birthday. She's instructed guests to come in Leo-themed wear. While this seems to have been largely forgotten, the crowd is apparently doing its best to make up for it by acting like Leos, who are supposedly extroverted performers. The dance floor reveals uncanny impressions all around.

The last reason for the party's existence may have been impromptu. But at some point, one of the roommates arrives on the dance floor wearing Gus's mom's prom dress. During a soundtrack that attempts to outgay a Friday night at Neighbours, the roommates decide to each dance to a song wearing the prom dress. The dress makes its circulation and falls lastly on Gus. His mom may as well have picked this dress for her son 30 years ago—Gus is absolutely radiant and sparkling in it. For Turkey's sake, I hope the dress finds its way into Gus's luggage.

Want The Stranger to admire your mom's figure from the 1970s at your house party? E-mail the date, place, and party details to partycrasher@ thestranger.com.