And al Qaeda's other big hits--this year's Bali nightclub bombing and the USS Cole strike two years earlier--took place on October 12, the anniversary of the opening of the U.S.-brokered Camp David peace talks between Egypt and Israel.
Speaking of bin Laden and dates of import to terrorists, if you read the November 24 letter to America allegedly written by bin Laden himself, you might conclude that this Tuesday, New Year's Eve, should be the code orange of all code oranges. In his letter, bin Laden called on all Americans to convert to Islam. "We call you to... reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling," bin Laden droned, practically describing a drunken New Year's Eve party. "You are a nation that exploits women like consumer products." (This from a guy with several wives!)
Well, if there's ever a night that intoxicants are flowing, that women dress up like consumer products, that acts of immorality are rampant--it's New Year's Eve. And if you're out in a club on NYE, you're clearly not down with the Islamic program.
However, in my assessment you are safe to go out and be a decadent Westerner on New Year's Eve. Even though the night epitomizes our secular naughtiness (and even though an Islamic terrorist was caught slipping a bomb into Washington State from Canada on NYE, 1999), December 31 lacks any political significance. As for the 1999 bomb incident: That was intended to go off on the millennium--a night that had cameras trained on it for weeks. (Al Qaeda loves cameras.) And the bomb was intended for decadent L.A., not boring Seattle. Given that this is Seattle on the eve of ho-hum 2003, I'd say it's safe to go out. Use intoxicants. Fornicate. Party like the world is coming to an end... because, well, it probably will sometime in 2003.
The Wall Street Journal reported last week that al Qaeda training camps are reopening in Afghanistan with recruits pouring in. While New Year's Eve will probably pass without an explosion, there are some dates coming up in 2003 that you should worry about. If you got a new day planner for Christmas, you might want to stay at home on the following days this year because they surely represent handy grievances against al Qaeda:
(1)
February 1. This date marks the 15th anniversary of Sassy magazine's 1988 newsstand debut, a publication that encourages women to think of themselves as consumer products.
(2)
February 19. This date marks the 23rd anniversary of President Jimmy Carter's announcement that U.S. athletes would not attend the Summer Olympic Games in Moscow due to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Carter backed up his protest by channeling millions in aid to the Muslim rebels. (Explain to me again: Why does Osama think U.S. foreign policy worked against Mujahedeen interests?)
(3)
March 8. This date marks the 55th anniversary of McCollum v. Board of Education, the 1948 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that defined the legal principles of separation of church and state. (In his letter, bin Laden condemned the United States for separating church and state: "Rather than ruling by the Shariah of Allah [you] choose to invent your own laws. You separate religion from your policies....")
(4)
May 4. Rocco Siffredi, star of True Anal Stories #17, turns 39.
(5)
August 18. This date will mark the 83rd anniversary of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which gave women the right to vote.
(6) September 11. This date marks... well, you know.
(7)
September 13. This date will mark the 26th anniversary of the night ABC premiered Soap.
(8) December 28. This date marks the 56th anniversary of the recording session that turned out "Good Rocking Tonight," the 1947 black crossover hit that provoked white teen interest in rock and roll.
