Because I needed a break from Seattle crimes, I decided to look at what's happening in Tacoma, our rough and tough sister city. Interestingly enough, nothing major happened in Tacoma during the past weekend, but I did learn a thing or two from the minor crimes and accidents I collected for this week's column.

The Deadly Snag/Spanaway/Sat Aug 20/8:30 am: According to this report, a Spanaway man was dealt a deadly blow by a snag. The man was out enjoying the morning air and observing a logging operation, when the snag came down and crushed him out of existence. No foul play is suspected.

For those who don't know, and I certainly didn't when I first read this report, a snag is a standing dead tree.

The Smell of the End/Tacoma/Sat Aug 20/6:00 pm: When the police arrived at the house on South Fife Street, they found on the floor the body of a man in his mid-30s. He had been dead for about 20 days. The officers responded to the scene after a call from the dead man's neighbors, who were trying to have a barbecue party but couldn't because of the strong smell coming from the lightless house. The police believe that the hands of the victim/murdered were also the hands of the suspect/murderer.

Before we go to the next and final report from Tacoma, I want to think about the smell of death, particularly the smell of a human corpse. It is by far the worst kind of stink. Nothing can prepare you for it; once it strikes your nose, it will never leave your memory. But here is one of the many problems I have with the way the universe is made: Is there any aspect of death that could have been made pleasant? I mean, the entire process is rotten. Why couldn't creation do something like make the body smell as sweet as flowers as it decomposed? What would have been wrong with that?

Death in Slow Motion/Tacoma/Lake Tapps/Sat Aug 20/7:40 pm: According to this sad report, a woman whose years in the world numbered only 22, drowned while "teak surfing" in Lake Tapps. She was with her friends, the last light of the day was fast leaving the sky, stars were arriving by the thousands, and the moon was unusually bright and big. The little boat ran at a slow speed across the lake as she "teak surf[ed]." Suddenly, she let go of the boat and that was the end. Her body was found 40 minutes later by a marine unit.

Google "teak surfing" and you will instantly find this definition on About.com: "In recent years a new fad has emerged in boat-towed sports that provides loads of fun for the participants, however, it is also proving to be deadly. It's called 'teak surfing' or 'drag surfing.' Growing in popularity, teak surfing is performed by hanging on the swim platform (often made of teak wood) at the back of a boat while the boat is moving forward in slow motion... The danger is [that this] area of the boat [where one teaks] is filled with potentially deadly carbon monoxide, which is tasteless and odorless, and more and more people are dying as a result on inhaling the fumes." May there be light on the other side, my fair young teaker.