Downtown/Tues Dec 29/12:29 pm: Officer James Garner reports: "I was working in a marked SPD patrol car when I was dispatched to investigate a report of an assault that had just occurred at Third Avenue and Stewart Street. En route to the location, the radio broadcast an update that the suspect was being detained at the scene by several citizens. I quickly arrived and was flagged down at the NE corner of Third and Stewart, in front of "Sleep Country USA." I exited my patrol car, and a witness physically pointed out the suspect and identified him as "the man who hit the woman." I took custody of the suspect and placed him in handcuffs...
"I contacted the victim, who was sitting on the ground a few feet away and was surrounded by concerned citizens. She stated she had been walking northbound on the sidewalk in front of Sleep Country USA when she was struck in the face by a complete stranger. She complained of head pain. I summoned SFD, who arrived and examined her. SFD arranged for AMR to transport the victim to Swedish Medical Center for further examination. She was alert and conscious when I gave her my SPD business card with the incident number."
What makes this report truly strange is not that a person was attacked for no apparent reason by an unknown person, but that the attack happened in front of Sleep Country USA. The reality of any crime that happens inside or in the aura of this bed business is depreciated by its dreamy name.
Beacon Hill/Sat Dec 26/4:16 am: Officer Sydney Brathwaite reports: "I arrived at the location and made contact with the residents. They stated that the two had left their home at approximately 1130 hours and returned at approximately 1600 hours. Once inside, they noticed that a set of ping-pong paddles was no longer propped up against the exterior side of the kitchen window, which faces the backyard. They then opened the patio door and observed the screen to the window had been removed and placed on the ground beside the door along with the ping-pong paddles. Further investigation found a set of handprints on the exterior side of the window and a cut through the screen. They also discovered the gate to the backyard was left open. They then determined that entry had not been made, and then called 911 to relate the incident.
"I observed what appeared to be partial and smudged fingerprints (consistent with both hands being placed beside each other) on the kitchen window and attempted to lift fingerprints. I additionally located and lifted partial prints on both the upper left and right exterior side of the screen. Fingerprint cards were submitted into evidence."
Like the report above, where the weapon is a closed fist, this crime is all about human hands: the handle of the ping-pong paddles, the handprints on the kitchen window, the open gate, the hole in the screen, and the fingerprint cards. We can see from these objects and traces that the crime (or attempted crime) truly happened in a human world. A crime that happened, say, in a cougar world would have different objects and traces. We would see the cougar's claw and bite marks all over the place. 
