Tools
Capitol Hill
Thurs April 1, 2:30 pm: A young man had been sitting on the stoop of a vacant
shop for a good 20 minutes when an officer approached to inform him of the city's
"Sit and Lie Ordinance," which forbids such behavior. The cop asked for identification,
but the young man claimed he didn't have any. He then proceeded to lie about
his name and birthdate, fearing the officer would check his records and find
that he had a warrant out for his arrest. When the false name didn't turn up
any record at all, the cop searched the young man's belongings and found an
Oregon ID card. A check found no warrant. The man had a clean record--at least
he did until he was hauled over to the East Precinct and charged with false
reporting.
Like the Fiery Monks
Stranger Personals
Sodo
Fri April 2, 10:30 pm: After a hard day of crime-fighting, an off-duty
cop waited for a bus on the corner of Fourth Ave S and S Massachusetts St. There
he watched a man carry a large plastic sack into the middle of the street and
light it with a Zippo. A plume of dense gray-black smoke rose from the burning
sack--traffic actually slowed and stopped due to restricted visibility. The
officer walked over to where the man was standing and asked him what he thought
he was doing. The man explained that it was okay to light the sack on fire because
"it is in honor of the monks who light themselves on fire when protesting something
important." The man was taken to the West Precinct, where he was interviewed
and released.
Officer Song and the Wheelchair
First Hill
Tues April 6, 3:11 pm: A disabled woman left Harborview Hospital
in her motorized wheelchair and attempted to merge into northbound traffic on
I-5. A concerned motorist surmised that she was trying to kill herself by steering
into the path of a speeding car, and used his own automobile to block her from
the oncoming oblivion she so desired. When police finally showed up, the woman
was taken back to the hospital by ambulance. Officer Song waited with the wheelchair
until it too was picked up and delivered to the hospital.
Just Like an Englishman
West Seattle
Wed April 7, 3 am: Officer Griffin was dispatched to 31st
Ave So. (98108) to investigate a "suspicious circumstance," which turned out
to be a woman worried that her dinner companion (Vincent, who didn't show up)
had met with danger. She was especially anxious because he hadn't called to
explain his absence. Also, he was not from Seattle, and was to have flown back
to his native England the next day. The woman explained that she had known Vincent
for eight months and that he had asked her to move to England with him.
Christian Camera Used in Drug House
North Queen Anne
Wed April 7, 12 noon: A man drove into a parking garage
at Seattle Pacific University (affiliated with the Methodist church) in a dark-colored
SUV and stole a mounted security camera. The electronic eye of another nearby
camera caught the whole thing, but not in enough detail to make out the suspect.
There is a lead, however. An informant advised police that the camera has been
installed at a drug house (apparently the resident dealer felt the need to monitor
his clientele--not the sort to be trusted). SPU security is trying to track
down the serial number for the camera, and will call police when it is found.
'You are really getting to be an asshole!'
Near Seattle Center
Sun April 11, 8:10 am: A worker at the Hostess Cake factory on Aurora Ave
N complained to his supervisor that a co-worker was putting too much dough mix
into the cake formula, making it difficult to run the mixing machine. Later
that day, the over-doughing co-worker confronted his accuser in the company
locker room and said: "You are really getting to be an asshole!" The co-worker
then pushed the man into the lockers and kneed him in the groin. The man reminded
the co-worker that they had to work together, and that if he continued the assault,
he would risk losing his job. The co-worker then stormed out of the locker room.
No charges were filed.






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