From the Aug 2 – Aug 8, 2001 issue

News

Police Beat

by Charles Mudede

A Fairy Tale/Greenwood/Thurs July 12/6:00 am: Tonight, a 21-year-old woman and 55-year-old man (whom we shall call Tom) were "sitting around drinking and having sex." After a heavy session of sex, they had a rest and, as always, Tom read his woman a fairy tale. At the tale's end, Tom's erection returned and they resumed having sex. But just as she was about to orgasm, Tom stopped and vacated her vagina. This made her mad and she pushed him off her. Tom retaliated by taking off his condom and reentering her without protection. When he was done, she got dressed, left his house, and called the cops.

After the young woman was transported to the hospital for a rape investigation, Officer McNulty went to Tom's house to get his version of the incident. But Tom turned out to be very uncooperative, and so Officer McNulty handcuffed him and placed him into the back of the squad car. While en route to the precinct, Tom explained to the officer that the young woman had forced him to consume a Viagra pill, and this had turned him into a sex monster. Officer McNulty explained to Tom that "it wasn't about sex but about the condom."

Cable Guy/Greenwood/Fri July 20/4:00 pm: This afternoon, a visibly shaken employee of AT&T Broadband walked into the North Precinct and filed this report: At around 2 pm, he had a work order for a "Non-Pay Disconnect" at a home on Interlaken Place East. When he arrived at the home to disconnect the service, a man answered the door. The cable guy explained the situation: The resident owed $314.87. It was long past due. Cable guy was going to cut the cable service. The resident gave a surprised look and said there was some mistake, and asked the cable guy if he would wait while he tried to straighten out matters with the business office. The cable guy agreed to wait, and took a seat at the kitchen table. The resident offered the AT&T employee a Coke. The cable guy accepted the offer. The resident went to the refrigerator and returned with two cans: one was handed to the cable guy, the other was placed next to the phone. After opening the can, the man called AT&T's business office. While talking on the phone, the resident pretended to be reaching for his own soda, but reached over it and grabbed the cable guy's crotch. "I was very scared and made a move for the door," said the cable guy to Officer Taylor. "As I was leaving, the man stopped me at the door and grabbed for my crotch again!" Once outside, the cable guy called his supervisor, and after explaining what had happened, he journeyed down to the precinct to file his report.

Bananas/Rainier Beach/Sat July 21/12:01 am: Officer Novisedlak was working uniform patrol security at the Rainier Beach Community Center when he was alerted to a disturbance outside of the center. He rushed to the scene and made contact with a 16-year-old girl who told him this: Just before midnight, she offered to give a "bunch of boys a blow job at $1 a pop." The boys accepted the offer and she led them outside to the basketball court on the north side of the center to perform the transaction. But once on the court, she told the boys that she changed her mind and didn't want to do it. At this point, one of the boys grabbed her by the shirt and said, "Suck my dick." She screamed and all the boys scrammed.

Officer Novisedlak placed the girl in his squad car and made an area check for the boys, but failed to locate them. However, upon returning to the community center he found a large group of other boys who had just heard about the proposition, and were now looking for the girl. The disappointed boys were sent home, and Officer Novisedlak transported the girl to her home, where he advised her older sister of the incident.