The Gun Collector/Sand Point/Mon Jan 7/9:30 am: This morning, a man died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The dead man, whose name was Smiley, owned an extensive collection of firearms. Officer Baseley found 44 rifles, pistols, shotguns, revolvers, and automatic weapons on the walls and tables of Mr. Smiley's house. The variety of brands was impressive; there were Llamas, Savages, Mohawks, and Ithacas. Of all the guns in house, the weapon Mr. Smiley selected to end it all was a Smith & Wesson .38 caliber revolver, which has a rotating cylinder that presents to the hammer six chambers. If loaded, the .38 fires in steady succession without reloading. The action of cocking the .38's hammer causes its cylinder to rotate and align the next chamber with the barrel. When fully cocked, the .38 is ready to fire with a light squeeze on the trigger. If the hammer is not fully cocked, the .38 may be fired with a longer, heavier squeeze on the trigger.

The Assassin in the Rearview Mirror/Downtown/Sat Jan 12/6:55 am: Officer Geese (I mean Deese) writes: "A few moments later, the taxi driver [suddenly] saw in his rearview mirror a man with very pronounced sideburns walking towards his car. As he walked, the man with the sideburns removed a black pistol from his waist band. [Some noise that erupted at a nearby hotel distracted the killer] and he put the gun back into his waist band, and walked away.... The suspect with the black gun wore a black sports jacket, black button-down shirt, and black trousers."

Violent Crime Accouterments/Downtown/Sat Jan 12/12:20 pm: This afternoon, a dreamy, unknown woman walked onto a Metro bus and handed the driver a box. The driver opened the box and found these items: A tan leather bullet holster, black leather gun holster, 24 rounds for a Smith & Wesson .38, and a "size large Thunderwear" holster. The woman then walked off the bus and dissolved into a crowd flowing down Third Avenue. The owner of these crime accessories is at large.

In the World, In the Arm, and In the Chest/West Seattle/Sun Jan 13/1:24 am: When Officer Sabay arrived at the West Seattle parking lot, he found one man with a gunshot wound to the stomach and another with a gunshot wound to the arm and chest. Sabay also found one slug, which he dutifully turned over to Detective Sausman. After receiving immediate medical attention, the suffering men were sent to Harborview for emergency treatment.