IGNORANCE MAY BE BLISS, BUT SHOULDN'T BE SUBSTITUTED FOR SARCASM

THANK YOU, STRANGER!: Once again, you've come through for me. Whenever I need someone to tell me what to think without confusing the issue with troublesome facts, I turn to you. Your article "Whattya Know About the WTO" [Nov 25] was a tour de force in the style of disinterested irony. The device of placing your own empty commentary, portrayed as truth, next to the cluelessness of your "person on the street" was brilliant. I got your message loud and clear: Seattle is ignorant, but so is The Stranger. I am glad you are in on the joke. After all, I can get facts and information anywhere, but only The Stranger lets me feel this good about my own ignorance. We probably don't need to know anything about the WTO anyway.

Anthony Dowler, Seattle


JELLO SHARES LABEL WITH PUDDING

EDITOR: I had a hearty laugh after reading your interview with Jello Biafra on the World Trade Organization meeting ["All You Protest Kids," Erin Franzman, Nov 25]. It was fascinating to see one of the most outspoken opponents of mandatory labeling of his products (records) come out in favor of the mandatory labeling of other people's products (genetically modified food). Perhaps Biafra can translate his newfound zeal for mandatory labeling into a lucrative job as an advisor to Tipper Gore as we approach the next election cycle. Or how about a follow-up to the Dead Kennedys' classic, "Too Drunk to Think Consistently"?

Brian Carnell, via e-mail


AND NOW A NOTE FROM CHARLENE BARSHEFSKY, U.S. TRADE REPRESENTATIVE TO THE WTO

hey if i was you motherfuckers i wold be dead in my own hans. you city stink is the worse city in the goddamit world {IG: i dont liked if god decide to burn any city today he fly to san fracisco and reassure that you faggets are on top of the list

Anonymous


AND NOW A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER OF THE WEEKLY, UNDER AN ASSUMED NAME

STRANGER: Hope you can do better than this on WTO coverage [Dec 2]. The Weekly whipped your butt.

Oh, I forgot. You guys are above politics; not fashionable enough.

Sandra Schroeder, via e-mail


AND NOW A NOTE FROM SOMEONE WHO THINKS WORKERS IN BANGLADESH SHOULD BE UNEMPLOYED, AND THAT WE BLOW

EDITORS: It was nice to see that The Stranger was considerate by selling nice, quality h0ats sold by an American-owned company. It's just too bad they were made in Bangladesh, [which is] rated third in the world as the nation with the least safe working conditions, with an abundance of child labor. [A story that The Stranger broke last week: In Other News, Dec 2]. I understand that you wanted to sell a high quality product (which would have probably cost $12 or more, if the workers who made them were paid a decent wage), and others don't really care about what they buy. As long as that eight-year-old working in Asia for 14 hours a day [earning] pennies is working for their cause, they're happy. Blow me.

Jerry Donnelly, via e-mail


CALIFORNIANS: PROTEST IN YOUR OWN DAMN COUNTRY!

EDITOR: I thought circuses with animals were banned in this city! In any case, perhaps next time we have a big event coming to town, maybe it would be a good idea to tell the mayor's office. Obviously they had no idea that the "W" in WTO stood for "World," and that they -- the world -- would be here. Paul Schell and Norm Stamper's lack of leadership is outrageous, and not only because of the damage that's ensued; their incompetence endangers our police officers who are on the front lines during the freak shows. And as a native Seattleite, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: CALIFORNIANS & OREGONIANS GO HOME! Go back to Berkeley and Eugene (or at least to Vashon and the San Juans).

Nick Slepko, Seattle


BIBLICAL SCHOLAR SEZ: "MARY MAGDALEN AIN'T NO HO!"

EDITORS: One of the valuable bits of literary knowledge I received many years ago at the U in Nelson Bentley's very popular "Bible as Literature" class was the fact that Mary Magdalen was NOT the prostitute Jesus saved from being stoned. Although there was the female follower named Mary of Magdalena, who forsook her worldly goods to follow Jesus, there is no biblical evidence to support the notion that she was also the "adulteress" told to "go your way and sin no more." Every good biblical scholar knows this.

However, the idea of the two women being one and the same has been inaccurately perpetuated by numerous institutions: the movie industry, arts [communities], and the Church itself (in Italy there used to be an order of penitent prostitutes called "The Maddalene"). David Schmader's remarks about Dale Turner and the humor of Jesus -- "his tricking that ho into washing his feet with her hair" [Dec 2, Last Days] -- perpetuates that same erroneous literary and biblical legend. I expect better from an otherwise excellent writer and publication.

Carolyn Street LaFond, Olympia

David Schmader responds: All good biblical scholars may know that Mary Magdalen was not the ho Jesus saved from stoning, but all good Last Days scholars know that I never said the ho who washed Jesus' feet was Mary Magdalen. As Jesus once said, "Read carefully, lest you look like an asshole." Thanks for writing.


PANTY SNIFFING JEFF IS IN BIIIIIG TROUBLE!

HEY TTS DUMBASS: In regard to the panty-sniffing Jeff, who so astutely noticed Rose McGowan at FAO Schwarz: Hey Jeff, if you would have pulled your head out of that pedophile magazine for a few minutes, perhaps you would have realized that her "posse of poseur pseudo-friends" were actually two of her brothers and one of her sisters (who, by the way, was on the cover of this very bathroom necessity a couple [Valentine's Days] ago)! So next time you're feeling like Wally-Whipple-fashion-man, maybe you should consider yourself not worth the effort. Fuckin' punk!!

Jerry K., Seattle


CLARK KNOWS ALL

CLARK HUMPHREY: I'll bet YOU didn't know there's another "Indian gargoyle" from the demolished White-Henry-Stuart building, sitting on the grounds of the Daybreak Star Indian Center in Discovery Park. [This was] donated by the deceased Morrie Alhadeff: former bon vivant, owner of Longacres racetrack, and former KJR disc jockey! I worked for him years ago and was quite amazed to stumble across this relic, complete with accompanying plaque and photo, on a recent tour of the park.

Mark McCormack, Seattle

From the Editors: Ha, ha! Thanks Mark! You know folks, just like Mark, you too can learn lots of interesting facts about Seattle history from Clark Humphrey's weekly column "I Bet You Didn't Know."


PHOENIX HOMOPHOBE MOVES TO SEATTLE

DEAR EDITOR: I recently moved here from Phoenix, Arizona. Things here in Seattle could not be more different. In Phoenix, my hetero pals and I would often joke around and call each other "fags" and such -- purely out of love, not meaning any harm, of course. Well, when I [moved here], a friend who had been here for a few years quickly corrected me. I was informed of the high level of sensitivity in this city; that everyone was very "PC"-aware here, and frankly, that ["fags"] shit won't fly. He then pointed out that the very paper I was reading (The Stranger) was predominately gay. I have to say, I felt about two inches tall. I've really got a lot to learn. Your paper is about the best reading around, and you can't beat the price. I can't wait to tell all my friends back in Phoenix about my glorious enlightenment. You know, you queers sure are smart writers.

Lenny E. Rogers, Arizona native


ATTENTION, READERS!

Regarding the Broadway riot on Wednesday, Dec 1: If you happen to be the guy whose image was beamed all over the world on NBC Nightly News for being kicked in the nuts by a riot cop, we want to talk to you! Call Wm. Steven Humphrey at 323-7101.


BEEN BEATEN BY THE FUZZ?

The National Lawyers Guild is collecting complaints of misconduct during the WTO Conference. Send the details -- and include your name, address, and phone number for follow up -- to: P.O. Box 9550, Seattle, WA 98109.