Previously in New Column!

Last week, Stranger readers revealed themselves to be thoroughly against the famously deaf and blind author Helen Keller, who received a whopping 136 votes "con" to a scant 40 votes "pro."

This week, the "pro or con" battle continues, as, in the midst of Judy Nicastro's historic Renters' Summit, we posit the question:RENT CONTROL:

PRO or CON?

1. Rent control is a necessary and vital strategy for maintaining an economically just, racially diverse urban environment.

2. Rent control is Satan's brainchild, and if you can't wrap your stupid pea-brain around that fact, you should haul your ass to Havana, you Castro-rimming pinko.

To register your vote, call 323-7101, ext. 3099.

June 1 marks the 32nd anniversary of the death of Helen Keller, the famously deaf and blind woman who overcame her impediments to become a world-renowned author and educator. To commemorate the life of the brave Ms. Keller, The Stranger posits the timeless question:

HELEN KELLER:

PRO or CON?

1. With her persistence and courage in the face of overwhelming handicaps, Helen Keller makes me proud to be a member of the human race.

2. With her persistence and courage in the face of overwhelming handicaps, Helen Keller makes me feel like an absolute piece of shit, as I am a fully functioning person with both eyes and ears who can barely manage to keep my apartment clean, much less write a motherfucking book.

To register your vote, call 323-7101, ext. 3099.

Challenge Part 2

Several weeks ago, The Stranger published a written challenge from furious citizen Josh Menard, who was hungry for the opportunity to fight two police officers who are guilty of committing egregious sins during the WTO protests (specifically, the sin of kicking a helpless guy in the nuts, and the sin of pepper-spraying two women sitting innocently in a car). Perhaps you remember the accompanying photo of Mr. Menard, with arms of steel and a gaze of death. Well, burly Josh's burly challenge didn't fall on deaf ears. First came a call from a Seattle-area martial arts center, offering to host the battle between Menard and the cops, free of charge. Next came a call from radio station KISW, which featured Mr. Menard on its call-in morning show (where Menard received not one but two calls from police officers confirming his assertion that the challenged cops are wusses). Finally there came a mysterious call from a man identifying himself as "a police officer from the West Precinct," informing Mr. Menard that should he wish to tussle with some cops, he need only attend a regular, cops-only, no-holds-barred Tuesday night fight club at an undisclosed location. The Stranger promptly called the West Precinct, but the officer who answered the phone (after a whopping 34 rings--what the hell's going on over there?) denied any knowledge of an in-house fight club, adding, "Any officer showing up with a busted face would have to explain himself to his superior." As of yet, there has not been one call from an officer brave enough to accept Josh's challenge AND leave his name.

So here's Marcie. Marcie is seven years old, a second-grader at Lowell Elementary School, and a sufferer from both mild asthma and a minor club foot. As Josh Menard is obviously too much of a threat to the cowardly cops, Marcie has valiantly agreed to kick off her prescription shoes and step up to the cop-clobbering plate. If either of the two wussy WTO coppers are willing to accept Marcie's challenge, please call The Stranger at 323-7101.