The Stranger

When some people look at a novel, they just see an obese screenplay. Cut a few characters, speed up the action, add some pat narration and rampaging CGI war bears, and there you go: The Golden Compass. Kindly direct the money truck to the back gate of my grand and imposing Hollywood manse! Anyway, that’s why this film adaptation of Philip Pullman’s waaay-too-complicated-to-be-made-into-a-movie young-adult fantasy novel doesn’t really work. Because it doesn’t make any sense. I swear, if I wasn’t a grown woman with a freakish love for juvenile fiction involving magic, British children, talking animals, and MAGIC—if I hadn’t already read this book (twice, okay? and maybe once on audiobook!)—I would be so confused right now. On the upside, the whole thing is gorgeous, the casting is a triumph, the armored bears are exciting, and Mrs. Coulter’s golden monkey daemon is a fucking asshole (as usual). But I’d still rather read the damn book again. (Director Chris Weitz in attendance, call 770-2702 for $5 tickets.) By Lindy West