Street Eats
Seattle Central Community College
If You Think It's Just Like Any Other College, You're Kidding Yourself
Tools
Street Eats
- The University of Washington: How to Get Smart, Get High, and Get Away with It
- What They Don't Tell You In The Brochure
- Notable Alumni
- Drinking in an Actual Bar: Advice on How Not to Embarrass Yourself
- Getting High: The Inside Dope on Dope, from a Former Dope Dealer
- Seattle Central Community College: If You Think It's Just Like Any Other College, You're Kidding Yourself
- What They Don't Tell You In The Brochure
- Notable Alumni
- At A Glance!
- Being Gay in Seattle: A Guide to Bookstores, Bars, and Bathrooms of Ill-Repute
- Being Straight in Seattle: With Specific Instructions on How to Locate the Clitoris
- Seattle University: How to Be a Stoned, Drunk Fag at Seattle's Largest Catholic University--and Succeed
- What They Don't Tell You In The Brochure
- Notable Alumni
- Seattle Pacific University: The College of Choice for Earnest Young Rockers with $90,000 and No Sex Drive Whatsoever
- What They Don't Tell You In The Brochure
- Notable Alumni
- At A Glance!
- What's That Down There?: Your Orientation to STDs
- Cornish College of the Arts: Shower Regularly, Sleep Around, And Other Advice from a Cornish Grad
- What They Don't Tell You In The Brochure
- Notable Alumni
- At A Glance!
- Dangerous, Low-Wage, Humiliating, and Illegal Part-Time Jobs: The Stranger staff offers advice on how to avoid depression, disfigurement, and the many other hazards of entry-level employment.
- Appetite for Education: Why I Decided to Go Back to School After Being in Guns N' Roses
- Welcome to Seattle! Orient yourself.
If you've found yourself registering for classes at Seattle Central Community College, without a doubt, you've hit rock bottom. Despite being once named Time magazine's "College of the Year," SCCC remains greatly hindered by massive computer problems, uninspired teachers, and an overall high-school-like atmosphere. In a word, the school is a shanty. Clearly, not much can be said for your future. While there are probably a few smart, motivated people who go to SCCC (I've never met them, but they could exist), the school is greatly dominated by students who are there because they weren't accepted anywhere else.
That's just one of the things you should know in advance about what you're getting into. Following are a few more tips that you won't find in your student orientation packet--the kind of information that only a former student can provide.
Stranger Personals
Do not fool yourself.
You are not actually in college. You attend classes at a community college. No matter how many Time magazine banners they hang, there is still a difference, and it's monumental. At a community college, expectations are low (and expected future salaries are even lower). People at real colleges, getting real educations, are working toward a promising future. You, on the other hand, are merely delaying the inevitability of a mindless, droning existence. Don't lose sight of that.
Do realize the teachers were probably inbred.
Remember sitting in high school and wondering if you were ever going to have that one amazing college teacher who would change your life? Well, SCCC students, you will not find that teacher here. The teachers at SCCC--barring a handful of exceptions (Mohamad Al-Madani and Jawed Zouari come to mind)--are the most woebegotten, stroke-impaired educators in the Western Hemisphere. Honest to god, I don't know what an SCCC teacher has to do to get fired. Urinate on a student? Show up to class drunk? Stab someone?
Do not slack off.
The upshot of this not being a real college is that it's easy to do well. The only thing more depressing than going to community college is failing community college.
Do pick up the school paper.
Although the City Collegian has gone basically unnoticed at SCCC, it contains smart, original features by writers who are always pushing the envelope. (At the very least, it's better than the redundant tripe you're reading right now.)
Do not have sex with strangers.
I know what you're thinking: "Sex with strangers is what college is all about." Quite true. But you're not in college--remember? The fact is, many of SCCC's students are actually high-school students, attending classes through Running Start. Remember that girl you hooked up with last week? She's 13.
Do take the stairs.
There are elevators in the building, raising and lowering themselves through the building's five stories at a glacial, creaking creep. Unless you are horribly disfigured (i.e., you are in a wheelchair, you are half-man/half-goat, etc.), you are not to use the elevators. You will use the stairs at all times.
Do not ever be a part of the following conversation:
"I got an A!"
"That's great! Me too!"
Guess what? It's community college; everyone gets A's. You're supposed to get A's. That's why they call it "community" college--so people from the community can take classes here. Have you ever met people from your community? They're incredibly dumb, and this is where they take classes. Is any of this sinking in?
A better exchange:
"Are you in school?"
"No, I'm taking classes at a community college."
"Oh." (Walk away.)
Do get in and get out.
Seattle Central (and community college in general) is a horrible place to be. If you find yourself taking classes like Jogging, it's time to move on. Community college is a two-year experience, no more.
Will Kostas has one more quarter to go at SCCC.
Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.
“Be not lost so poorly in your thoughts.”
Teachers are awesome, though demanding. It is way not easy to get A in this college. I am from another country but i can compare colleges in the USA. Even though, this college is an old college, it is awesome! I just love it. Teacher and tutors are superb! They want you to learn! they spen all their time to do make sure you get the education you deserve! I take math 84 and 298m, and my teachers would never be impolite with you or give you a grade for grantyed, dont even expect. I spend all my day studying. That is what it takes to get at least 2.5. Mariam Fipro and Jane are angels when they talk to you or explain smth.
I just want to say that the guy who wrote this crap is such a total looser, he probably did too bad in school and got bad grades and finaly got kicked out, lol.
I LOVE THIS COLLEGE! WE ALL DO! WE ARE SO COOL HERE! COME AND BE PART OF US!
Rustam K.
we still remeber you pooping in your pans when you left a parking lot! xexexe! ohohoho! dont make me laugh! i am dying! lol
a dreamer!
well, first of all, i can say that all this a total crap, whoever wrote this bullshit is a part of that shit (of course if that bull wont get offended to have such a diarrea!)lol!
Teachers are awesome, though demanding. It is way not easy to get A in this college. I am from another country but i can compare colleges in the USA. Even though, this college is an old college, it is awesome! I just love it. Teacher and tutors are superb! They want you to learn! they spend all their time to do make sure you get the education you deserve! I take math 84 and 298m, and my teachers would never be impolite with you or give you a grade for granted, dont even expect. I spend all my day studying. That is what it takes to get at least 2.5. Mariam Fipro and Jane are angels when they talk to you or explain smth.
I just want to say that the guy who wrote this crap is such a total looser, he probably did too bad in school and got bad grades and finaly got kicked out, lol.
I LOVE THIS COLLEGE! WE ALL DO! WE ARE SO COOL HERE! COME AND BE PART OF US!
Rustam K.
As for your claims that central is a 'shanty' (I hope you were intentional in using that word and fully understand its loaded connotations in socioeconomic terms) and the 'on going computer problems' (which absolutely do exist) you failed to address these issues as stemming from a larger issue of massive budget cuts and a general attitude that community colleges 'do not educate'. An attitude you, unfortunately, seem to have adopted.
As for your statement that taking courses at seattle central does not equate directly to being 'in college', this is the problem with mainstream academia. There is such a narrow ideology of what constitutes education that any component of academia even remotely innovative or inventive (in terms of teaching styles, course materials, level of student involvement)is dismissed as lacking any sort of credibility or validity. I think this is the 'droning existence' you speak of, although I think you've got it backwards. Most often, that happens in massive institutional settings namely, the University of Washington wherein you are quite often (but not always) dismissed as nothing but a student ID number.
I have a number of friends who attend the University of Washington who glance at my reading lists enviously, there are scores of peers and mentors alike who state that the material being covered in a majority of the classes is highly advanced.
As a student of Seattle Central myself, I would rather write an article outlining the incredible diversity of our school (age differences included), its unique ability to allow for student voice and input, its dedicated professors who all to often will pull you aside in the hallways and demand to know which scholarships you have applied for, and its student body which has repeatedly refused to stay silent on issues of injustice and inequality.
If I have learned one thing most important at Seattle Central, it has resided within recognizing my privilege and power in society as a middle class white person. I am saddened that not only has it not offered this to you, but that you are using your privilege to in turn bash the school with the utmost disrespect for its faculty, its students, and its community. I am saddened that, unlike me, you did not take what Seattle Central had to offer you, that you did not realize that an incredible privilege it is to stand in the midst of teachers and students alike who build coalitions, bring community involvement inside the doors of central, and create a safe space where voices are heard when elsewhere they were continuously silenced. Perhaps next time you are in a classroom you will attempt to shut your bigoted mouth and perk up your privileged ears and choose to hear what it is that is being offered to you.
And lastly, fuck you.
As for your claims that central is a 'shanty' (I hope you were intentional in using that word and fully understand its loaded connotations in socioeconomic terms) and the 'on going computer problems' (which absolutely do exist) you failed to address these issues as stemming from a larger issue of massive budget cuts and a general attitude that community colleges 'do not educate'. An attitude you, unfortunately, seem to have adopted.
As for your statement that taking courses at seattle central does not equate directly to being 'in college', this is the problem with mainstream academia. There is such a narrow ideology of what constitutes education that any component of academia even remotely innovative or inventive (in terms of teaching styles, course materials, level of student involvement)is dismissed as lacking any sort of credibility or validity. I think this is the 'droning existence' you speak of, although I think you've got it backwards. Most often, that happens in massive institutional settings namely, the University of Washington wherein you are quite often (but not always) dismissed as nothing but a student ID number.
I have a number of friends who attend the University of Washington who glance at my reading lists enviously, there are scores of peers and mentors alike who state that the material being covered in a majority of the classes is highly advanced.
As a student of Seattle Central myself, I would rather write an article outlining the incredible diversity of our school (age differences included), its unique ability to allow for student voice and input, its dedicated professors who all to often will pull you aside in the hallways and demand to know which scholarships you have applied for, and its student body which has repeatedly refused to stay silent on issues of injustice and inequality.
If I have learned one thing most important at Seattle Central, it has resided within recognizing my privilege and power in society as a middle class white person. I am saddened that not only has it not offered this to you, but that you are using your privilege to in turn bash the school with the utmost disrespect for its faculty, its students, and its community. I am saddened that, unlike me, you did not take what Seattle Central had to offer you, that you did not realize that an incredible privilege it is to stand in the midst of teachers and students alike who build coalitions, bring community involvement inside the doors of central, and create a safe space where voices are heard when elsewhere they were continuously silenced. Perhaps next time you are in a classroom you will attempt to shut your bigoted mouth and perk up your privileged ears and choose to hear what it is that is being offered to you.
Im so upset by this article that I am going to go emial my inbred teacher about it (lets hope she doesn't pee on me!)
Fuck you.
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