You know, we here at The Stranger pride ourselves on being smutty, sexy smarty-pants. We've seen it all, we've heard it all, and if we haven't yet managed to do it all, we've at least watched someone else do it on 8mm film.

But really, you guys are sick. When we asked our readers to tell us what was going on in their underpants, well, we weren't prepared for the tales of depravity that poured into our offices.

Of course, we already knew that all of our readers wanted to bang Q13's Leslie Miller--even the gay men--but who knew that most of you disliked the person who took your virginity? Or that in the year 2000 alone, 54% of you mixed booze 'n' drugs 'n' sex? Or that Christians enjoy being pooped on more than Buddhists? We sure as hell didn't know these things. But we know them now, along with oh-so-much more about your filthy, filthy lives.

Keep up the good work.