• Former King County executive Ron Sims defied the expectations of pundits and politicos by announcing on Monday that he will not run for mayor of Seattle. Apparently because he and his wife plan to climb mountains or something. "She and I want to be on another mountain, another journey, doing things that are far more important to us," Sims told KUOW's stupefyingly boring Steve Scher.

• The stinky, cavernous, and wonderful Capitol Hill dive the Canterbury looks like it'll be closing at the end of the year. Capitol Hill Housing, which owns the building, won't be renewing the bar's lease. Canterbury owner Stefanie Roberge admits she's been late on rent for the last five months and that the place has a "cash-flow problem."

• Want more proof that state senator Rodney Tom (Fucker-Medina) is a total fucking fucker? Tom assigned the Reproductive Parity Act—a bill that would require insurance carriers to equally cover pregnancy or abortion costs on their plans—to the Republican-controlled senate Health Care Committee this week, essentially killing the bill (which already passed in the house). This, even though Tom has repeatedly assured women and the public that he "supports" the bill, and despite the fact that Democratic senator Steve Hobbs, chair of the senate's Democratically controlled insurance committee, begged for the bill to be assigned to his committee instead. Christ, what a hairy dick Tom is.

• PETA is trying to proselytize at elementary schools now. They sent us a press release this week sounding horrified that Redmond's Albert Einstein Elementary refused their generous offer of a vegan school lunch on Einstein's birthday, March 14, which would have been distributed along with a "colorful, kid-friendly Einstein leaflet" containing descriptions of slaughterhouses and pictures of sad and bloody animals. "We can't just have outside people bringing in food," said school secretary Bobbie Joe Connors. Bravo, Einstein Elementary.