THURSDAY NOV 29


Sketchfest 2001

(COMEDY) In years past you bought a ticket to Sketchfest and got a wide-ranging sampler of sketch comedy troupes, so the odds were good that at least one of them would be funny. Now you have to pay for each act individually, which ups the risk considerably. S.F.'s Killing My Lobster has the most press clips, and two guys from Kasper Hauser have a film, Fishing With Gandhi, that's been a cult hit at festivals. Lo Blo, Disgruntled Bit Players, Pork Filled Players, Some Kind of Cult, and Kazoo! are all local, while Canadians 30 Helens are all girls.... I'm running out of ways to tell them apart, as everyone seems to partake of the same Saturday Night Live/Monty Python-influenced mix of pop culture parody and absurdist whatever, and everyone claims to be comic splendor embodied. Still, someone's likely to pay off; play a little sketch-comedy roulette and see what happens. BRET FETZER

Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500, Thurs-Sat, see Theater Calendar for complete schedule.


FRIDAY NOV 30

Ryan Adams

(LIVE MUSIC) Ryan Adams is a rarity, one of the few talented and romantic singer/songwriters in music today. With his former band Whiskeytown, and his already classic solo debut, Heartbreaker, Adams has taken alcoholic longing and romantic breakdown to obsessive and brilliant heights. Gold, his overshot and underwhelming two-CD follow-up, falls sadly short of his abilities. It's formulaic and even a bit lazy. But Adams' live shows are positively beautiful, and whether the song he's playing is one of his best or the Backstreet Boys' "I Want it That Way" (which he effortlessly filled with integrity at the Tractor Tavern about a year back), Adams is incapable of not entertaining--and breaking your heart all the while. JEFF DeROCHE

Paramount Theatre, 911 E Pine St, 682-1414, $30/$73.


Down With Kobe!

(BASKETBALL) The NBA markets blackness; black men are its product. Arrogant black players like Gary Payton, Rasheed Wallace, and Allen Iverson, who feud with their coaches, flamboyantly celebrate after dunks, and tattoo their bodies perform willful and public acts of subversion. They refuse to be socialized into corporate NBA's ethos of modesty and humbleness--of a domesticated "sportsmanship." Kobe Bryant of the L.A. Lakers has a different type of arrogance. One look at his constant expression of smug and restrained unaffectedness and it is clear that he considers himself to be above the attitude of radical resistance. His attempts to control his emotions mirror those of the NBA owners who control the lives and personalities of the players. The Lakers lost all four meetings against the Sonics last year. Tonight, the Sonics, led by the righteous arrogance of Gary Payton, will turn Kobe out until his façade breaks and he leaves the court with his middle finger in the air. RAPHAEL GINSBERG

L.A. Lakers vs. Seattle SuperSonics, KeyArena, 7 pm, $9-$350; call 800-4NBA-TIX for tickets. Also airs live on KING TV, channel 5.


Pulp Vixens

(THEATER) Playwright/puppeteer Scot Augustson has been on a roll this year. Not only was his Greek fantasia Why? Why? Why? a smash at ConWorks this past spring, but the perverse shadow puppets of Sgt. Rigsby & His Amazing Silhouettes have been cropping up everywhere, with a mix of moral instruction and cruelty that puts Shockheaded Peter to shame. Now he's writing for live actors again, and who better than the nefarious and lurid Pulp Vixens, whose pseudo-noir dime-novel dramatics have had breasts heaving and loins pounding for many a year. The collision of talents promises to be a nasty comic delight and a refreshing break from the earnest holiday fare being regurgitated on most other stages in town. BRET FETZER

Northwest Asian American Theatre, 409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1049, Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 4 pm, $12 general, $10 students/seniors. Through Dec 24.


SATURDAY DEC 1


Tomahawk

(MUSIC) The clusterfuck of some of rock's heaviest, most adventurous artists of the '90s, Tomahawk features loud-ass guitarist Duane Denison of the Jesus Lizard, Cows bassist Kevin Rutmanis, Helmet drummer John Stainer, and jack-of-all-trades Mike Patton of Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, and Fantomas. While this show's decidedly male-skewed audience will probably find itself preoccupied with the talent onstage, single guys might want to take note of the female fans in the room. At perhaps no show other than tonight's will you be able to see a band and find the gal of your dreams at the same time. KATHLEEN WILSON

Graceland, 109 Eastlake Ave E, 381-3094, 10 pm, $15.


SOIL Holiday Art Auction

(ART) Inasmuch as an alternative space can produce an event that can be called an institution... this auction is it. I have never failed to carry away some gem by a local artist for a shockingly low price. My ambivalence about taking artists' work for much less than its value is balanced--a little bit--by the knowledge that much of SOIL's budget runs on what the auction garners, and also because artists seem to love to donate their work for this event. This year, for the very first time, there will be a live auction in addition to the usual passive-aggressive silent version (where you loiter nonchalantly next to a work you want and try to keep people away from it with brain vibes). And if you want to see who's who in art, this is the night to come out. EMILY HALL

Noodleworks, 802 Sixth Ave S, silent auction begins at 7:30 pm; live auction at 9 pm. For information call 264-8061.


New African Voices

(READING) The University of Washington needs to get more involved with the local literary community. The UW's African Literary Series offers a clear example of the type of local involvement I have in mind. The program, which offers a space for Africans and African Americans to deliver new work to the community, hosted a creative writing contest for Western Washington high-school students of African descent. This afternoon, it presents the finalists to the public--Peter Malual, Mariel Montgomery, Silolanda Jeffrey, Abraham Malual, Peter Deng, and Andrea Bell. The next step is for UW to offer opportunities, rewards, and recognition to writers who are outside of the education system, and also to offer readings around the city that feature young writers in its undergraduate and graduate writing programs. CHARLES MUDEDE

UW Campus, Mary Gates Hall, room 258, 2 pm, free. For more information call the University Bookstore at 634-3400.


SUNDAY DEC 2

Walk for Capitalism

(DEMONSTRATION) To honor the two-year anniversary of the WTO demonstrations, on Friday Nov 30, there will be a rally at Seattle Central Community College that will feature some shouting and fist-shaking. Most of the other "commemorating" events will have a tone of simple, pleasant remembrance: Secluded Alley Works is holding a "celebrate resistance" rock concert (also on Nov 30), and on Saturday Dec 1 Antioch University is hosting a "Voices for Global Economic Justice & Deepening Democracy" conference that asks you to "bring a sack lunch." Sounds pretty tame. There will be, however, be a demonstration regarding sweatshops, deepening Third World poverty, and unchecked capitalist growth and consumption! Today's Walk for Capitalism is the first-ever global rally (the website www.walkforcapitalism.org claims to have 107 cities around the world participating) in support of the ideology of capitalism. While this does sound absolutely absurd and self-imploded--storming Westlake Center to promote capitalism is like storming Puget Sound to promote water--if enough people gather in downtown Seattle to either support capitalism or denounce capitalism, Seattle may once again come gloriously alive with conflict. BRIAN GOEDDE

Assembly at Vietnam Memorial at Benaroya Hall, noon; march to Westlake Center at 1 pm.

MONDAY DEC 3


Music, Words, Bodies

(HIPHOP EXTRAVAGANZA) This should be a gorgeous night for dancing as well as for exploring the history of hiphop. DJ Shingi will play jazz, which (come on, people) is the philosophical grandfather of hiphop. DJ Suspence will follow, with his serial killer's mug, nimble fingers, and supremely tasteful record collection. Once the crowd is sufficiently warmed up, The Stranger's very own hiphop intelligentsia has every intention of bum-rushing the shit. DJ Dusk (a.k.a. Charles Mudede) will spin a futuristic set of electro-hiphop, all of which was made roughly between '81 and '84. No doubt he'll also be spilling fine red wine all over the "wheels of steel." Brian Goedde will read from his ambitious and thoughtful first book, The World Is Yours: The Geography of Hiphop. All this action takes place before Circle of Fire, Nation's blissful Monday-night breakdancing celebration, so plan to stay all night. Bring your booty and your brains. JEFF DeROCHE

Nation, 1921 Fifth Ave, 374-9492, 7 pm, free; Circle of Fire, 10 pm, $5.


Anything But Harry Fucking Potter

(FILM) Look, I don't have kids, and I've never read the novels, but I just want to say this to you parents out there: It's okay not to see the Harry Potter movie. You probably already have seen it, and you may be prevailed upon to see it again, AND you will likely give in, just as you tend to give in to most of your child's demands, and who am I to tell you how to raise your kid, right? Go ahead, spoil him/her rotten. Just know that if you are interested in exposing the little ragamuffin to ideas that are not totally synthesized marketing tools bearing no magic or imagination beyond what it takes to brainwash all Americans into lining up to see them, you have options. Rent Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or The Witches, or better yet, read the books. Even the mega-marketed Monsters, Inc. is a more artful alternative. Even the animated Lord of the Rings.... Jesus, moms and dads of the world: Strap on a pair and say no. I dare you. SEAN NELSON

See Movie Times, go to the video store, the book- store, anything but Harry Fucking Potter!


TUESDAY DEC 4

The Umbilical Brothers

(PHYSICAL COMEDY) I would recommend the Umbilical Brothers just because they won the grand prize in the Australian version of Star Search in 1991--but fortunately their show received abundant accolades beyond that bit of prestige. "Silly behavior of the highest caliber," proclaims The New York Times; "mindless entertainment of the first magnitude," declares the NY Daily News. So what do they actually do? Apparently it's a mix of exemplary physical schtick and uncanny sound effects created from their own throats--perfectly executed imitations of everything from a fluttering bird to an exploding dog. Add in a little Bruce Springsteen, a bunny-and-mallet puppet show, and the vicious humiliation of latecomers and anyone unfortunate enough to run to the bathroom in the middle of the show, and this sounds like pure entertainment. BRET FETZER

The Moore Theatre, Second & Virginia, 292-ARTS, Tues-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 5 & 9 pm, Sun at 7 pm, $21-$33.50. Through Dec 9.


WEDNESDAY DEC 5

The Magpie's Stash

(ART) The art scene gets very optimistic around the holidays--maybe, the thinking goes, this year will be the year that people give the gift of art! In the service of this hopefulness, lots and lots of galleries and boutiques have sales of not art, exactly, but wares created by artists. In an interesting twist on the theme, the salon/boutique Vain has imagined an aviary evening, with bird-themed art, dance, and music. Ostensibly, the sale of handmade jewelry is the event's reason for being, but I never underestimate the Vain ladies; the makeovers they gave at ConWorks' Wrecking Ball earlier this year were as much about performance and installation as about hair, makeup, and clothes. This is art that happens. EMILY HALL

Vain, 2018 First Ave, 441-3441, 8 pm.