THURSDAY DEC 6


Sucka Nite

(VARIETY) The lunatic impresarios at the Sunset Tavern are tackling the horrors of the holidays with the fourth installment of their popular talent show, Sucka Nite. This anarchic and oft drunken evening of skits, songs, and comedy will be hosted by the twisted Kaleb Hagen-Kerr, with musical wallpaper provided by the boys of Bop Street Records. The proceedings are usually pretty odd, but this time out promises to defy both logic and reason. The festivities culminate with a live version of the super-spooky stop-motion animation Christmas classic from 1974, The Year Without a Santa Claus, complete with enormous sets, commercial breaks, and the musical accompaniment of Rockaraoke's Rustie Urie. Christmas entertainment hasn't been this twisted since that weird, lisping gay elf who wanted to be a dentist pulled out all the Bumble's teeth. TAMARA PARIS

Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave NW, 784-4880, 8:30 pm, $7.


FRIDAY DEC 7


Jimmy Carter

(READING) This is a rare chance to catch one of the coolest Americans to ever get elected president (we'll never know how he pulled it off). Perhaps he was not a giant president, but Jimmy Carter was certainly a giant. Carter has led a fascinating life, from small Southern towns to nuclear submarines, from President of the United States to founder of Habitat for Humanity. Peacemaker. Thinker. Humanist. Writer. Come see the often-existential Carter read from his latest book, Christmas in Plains. And as Jimmy would tell you, bring your best warm sweater--and when you leave the house, shut off the lights and turn down the thermostat. TIM KECK

University Bookstore, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, 6 pm, free.


Stepping from the Shadows

(ART) Those Independent Media Center people are deadly serious about bringing you noncorporate reporting on all the crap and injustice and terrible things in the world. But this does not, contrary to popular thinking, mean that they are a bunch of humorless lefty propagandists. Their latest art venture brings graffiti artists from around the country inside--with works on canvas and installation projects by PARS (sad children in scary and carnivorous urban landscapes), Cause-B (revolutionary heroes and sexy kittens), and Amir H. Fallah, a writer whose graffiti is in Farsi, among others. The show also features experimental sound art from DJ Spaze Crafte. EMILY HALL

Opening reception 7-10 pm, Independent Media Center Gallery, 1415 Third Ave, 262-0721. Through Jan 31.


Nazrah Film Series

(FILM) There are those who argue that the prophet Muhammad was an early feminist. After all, one of his wives was a powerful merchant who proposed marriage to the Prophet, and whose earnings eventually supported Muhammad while he chased God across Arabia. What's more, he preached, progressively for his time, that women should be respected as sovereign and treated always with compassion. But one and a half millennia later, some forms of Islam appear to have been hijacked by freakish woman-haters. Which is the true Islam? Are Muslim women really as oppressed behind the veil as the American media report? These large questions are tackled by the Nazrah film series, which features five intimate documentaries by and about Muslim women who struggle with identity and empowerment within modern Islam. This is no Sharia For Dummies, though: "Nazrah" is Arabic for "perspective" and this series offers no quick or easy answers, only the opportunity to promote more nuanced dialogue through film. NATHAN THORNBURGH

911 Media Arts Center, 117 Yale Ave N, 682-6552; and Independent Media Center, 1415 Third Ave, 262-0721. See Movie Times.


Rock*A*Teens

(MUSIC) Rock*A*Teens are aptly named. The fine, unpretentious music that this guitar-based quartet from Georgia makes is as fun and buoyant as any rockabilly music, minus the bravado. The special ingredient here is singer/guitarist Chris Lopez, whose sweet voice and rich guitar work flood the band's sound with the warmth and earnestness of all the best teen music. This is some of the most spirited and intelligent rock music you will be treated to this year. The Teens' most recent release, last year's Sweet Bird of Youth, is nothing short of beautiful, and the band's live show sparkles with true wisdom and Southern charm. JEFF DeROCHE

Crocodile Cafe, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611, $7.


SATURDAY DEC 8


The Esoterics: Stellarum

(MUSIC) Singing a cappella is damnably daunting, but the Esoterics tackle difficult choral music with verve and élan. For their December round of concerts, this a cappella vocal ensemble sings music by a clutch of composers from the Northwest--Byron Au Yong, Kam Morrill, Donald Skirvin, and Garrett Fisher--and the land of perpetual winter, Finland (Jaako Mäntyjärvi and others). Leagues away from somnolent Gregorian chant, these songs explore classic stellar themes of fortune, distance, and solitude. An illuminated installation of "radiant structures" by sculptor Norman Rueter will also be at the gig, but the Esoterics' knack for extracting haunting chords out of thin air should be sufficient for raising goose bumps. CHRISTOPHER DeLAURENTI

Sat-Sun Dec 8-9, Pilgrim Congregational Church, Broadway Ave E at E Republican St, 8 pm, $14/$17.


SUNDAY DEC 9


Christmas in Babylon

(THEATER) There's no technology so innocent that it can't be put to some perverse purpose, and language translation software is no exception. Christmas in Babylon co-creators John Kaufmann (the Midwesternly handsome writer/star of linger, his engaging exploration of "being in the moment") and red-haired imp Lindsay Hunter have taken an abundance of holiday texts (Dickens, The Grinch, songs of Santa and the Virgin Mary, scripts for the animated Frosty and Rudolph), translated them into foreign tongues, and then translated them back into English--or at least something resembling it. And now they're staging the fractured results with an intrepid cast, whose memorization skills will no doubt be stretched to the limit. Prizes will be awarded to the first audience members to recognize the drastically obscured originals. Expect comic chaos. BRET FETZER

The Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 329-2629, Thurs-Sun at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 10 pm, $12 general/$10 NW Film Forum members. Through Dec 16.


MONDAY DEC 10


Crime 'N' Punishment

(READINGS) Tonight, former Stranger film editor Andy Spletzer reads from his screenplay of Crime 'N' Punishment, which is a retelling of literature's first modern novel in a present-day junior high. The project sounds funny, but Andy takes it very seriously. He doesn't laugh or make light of Dostoyevsky's existential concerns about the human predicament, but attempts to reinterpret them in an age and place that is even more godless than 19th-century St. Petersburg. The screenplay is, above all, well written--which is not surprising, because Andy is a talented writer. Upon request, copies of the script will be made available for reading. CHARLES MUDEDE

Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030, 7 pm, $5 general/$2 students/free for Cinema Seattle members.


Yiddish Erotica

(SEX) A sexy Hanukkah party? You heard that right--Sheila Fox puts together some sizzling performers in the name of art and Yiddish erotica. I've seen Ms. Fox perform in Seattle, and she's a whole lot of talent in a deceptively small package. Her particular focus is on the Jewish culture of theater and entertainment: dreidels, menorahs, and women with pasties and butt floss singing and dancing. What's not to like? Fox is joined by the Tango Sisters, a great pair of dancers who will make you think nasty thoughts about look-alike sisters. You'll be seduced by another Seattle variety-show veteran, Tamara, as she dances on the low-flying trapeze; juggling and lots of music fill out the bill. Expect as much bawdy humor as sexy numbers--this show is just as apt to make you laugh as it is to make you horny. MISTRESS MATISSE

Re-bar, 1114 Howell Ave, 323-0388, Mon-Tues at 8 pm, $15.


Radical Women Bake Sale

(CONFECTIONS) The Radical Women, a politically feminist group that holds readings and meetings at New Freeway Hall down on Rainier Avenue South, is holding their 12th annual Fabulous Feminist Gastronomic Delights Bake Sale. Today is the last day you can place an order for one of their holiday delights, such as Double Chocolate Classic Fudge, Soft Pumpkin Choco-Chip Walnut Cookies, Fat-Free Cranberry-Pumpkin Bread, and Sweet Potato Pie, all made by hand with holiday cheer by the Radical Women. The treats will be available for pick-up between December 18 and 21, or, if you prefer, the Radical Women will deliver the "goodies" (their term) to your home or office. BRIAN GOEDDE

Call 722-6057 for a complete list of items.


TUESDAY DEC 11


Werckmeister Harmonies

(FILM) Béla Tarr, the talented Hungarian filmmaker whose 1994 film, Sátántángó, was over seven hours long, has a penchant for long takes and stark imagery, and 2000's Werckmeister Harmonies is no exception. The film, which is loosely about a simple man's journey into the abstract root of evil, is a beautiful existential disaster, complete with symbolism, allegory, dramatic lighting, and an innocent, likable, curious protagonist who you just know is totally doomed. The film is frustrating, but that's not to say it's not brilliant--it's as completely unaware of its own pretense as it is aware of its beauty. Fortunately, it'll only cost about two and a half hours of your life--two and a half mesmerizing, maddening hours. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

The Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 675-2055. See Movie Times.


WEDNESDAY DEC 12


Objective Distortions: Reconfigured

(ART) This week's DIY award is definitely presented to Garth Amundson, who has been exploring the idea of photographic lenses by making his own. In this window installation are a couple dozen cameras outfitted with hand-sewn plastic-bottle lenses--some more emphatically telephoto than others, if you get my drift. The prevailing idea here is how lenses distort vision, how vision distorts reality, and how debatable reality actually is. It's a bit tantalizingly painful that none of the resultant photographs are shown; the imagination reels. EMILY HALL

Seattle Art Museum Rental/Sales Gallery, First Avenue window, 1334 First Ave, 654-3240. Through Jan 7.