THURSDAY DEC 13


Money & Run, Episode 1

(THEATER) If you missed this late-night theatrical phenomenon when it premiered in '99, you're in luck. The star-crossed white-trash lovers are back in syndication and badder than ever! The first episode of this imaginary '80s action-adventure TV show in the style of The Dukes of Hazzard has a brand new cast. But the beloved opening credits, scenes from upcoming shows, and kick-ass slo-mo fight sequences remain--including dialogue tighter than a pair of acid-washed hotpants and faster than a liquor store holdup! The villainous Big Momma Bob (Alyssa Keene) and OT (Jeff Schell), the town's improbably eloquent drunk, almost steal the show. But the hot monkey love between Money and Run remains the show's heart and soul--and happily, Peggy Gannon and Shawn Belyea give off more warmth than a kerosene heater in a double-wide. Sweeter than a wine cooler and with as much kick as a shot of Montalban tequila. TAMARA PARIS

Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801, Thurs-Sat, 11 pm, $10 (under 18 free).


FRIDAY DEC 14


Phoenecia & Vic

(CAMP CABARET) I'll never forget my first experience of Wade Madsen's alter ego Phoenecia. Having long admired Madsen for his achievements in dance and choreography, I downgraded my expectations of what I naturally assumed was a fun and kooky side project. Imagine my surprise when the svelte, blonde, lounge-singing semi-sensation Phoenecia glided onto the stage--and Wade Madsen was nowhere to be seen. From her wispy delivery of easy-listening sub-standards (accompanied by pianist Victor Janusz) to her uncanny, often ingenious stage banter (Madsen taps recesses of the brain largely inaccessible to most sane folks), Phoenecia is a comic creation as full-blooded and real as Suzanne Somers herself. For the next two weeks, Phoenecia will be strutting her stuff for the late-night crowd at the homosexual piano bar Thumper's, and if all goes well, the results should be worth leaving the house for. DAVID SCHMADER

Thumper's, 1500 E Madison, 328-3800, Fri-Sat at 10:30, $10 cover. Through Dec 22.


Rosie Thomas

(MUSIC) Rosie Thomas contains multitudes, making the leap from sublime to ridiculous seem as effortless and intentional as can be. She is a singer-songwriter whose fragile melodies, spare guitar lines, and spiderweb soprano verge on the ethereal, until the refrains of songs like "Wedding Day" and "Finish Line" have insinuated themselves into your ears' most vulnerable crannies. Though comparisons to early Joni Mitchell seem too easy, Thomas' voice and phrasing also bear them out. So yeah, she's a great musician, hushed, folky, and gorgeous; you should buy her Sub Pop debut, When We Were Small, which finds her pretty songs fleshed out with delicacy and taste and separated by creepy-cool cassette sounds, as soon as it comes out. But Thomas is also a standup comic, who transforms herself, with the help of some orthopedic bandages, a pair of glasses, and a pizza box, into a hilariously inept teenager. The disjunction between these personas--both fully realized, and as different as night and day--is jarring, and makes her performances all the more impressive. SEAN NELSON

Paradox Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 524-7677, 8 pm, $7.


SATURDAY DEC 15


Sleater-Kinney

(PUNK ROCK) Upon its release last year, Sleater-Kinney's good-but-not-great fifth record, All Hands on the Bad One, met with the sort of half-assed backlash these critical darlings have been courting since day one. Overlooked was the fact that, when it comes to punk bands, fifth records either don't exist (see Sex Pistols, New York Dolls, Bikini Kill, Nirvana) or have ditched punk (see the Clash, the Jam, X, the Replacements). Following in the footsteps of the great exception to this rule--Hüsker Dü, whose fifth was the galvanizing New Day Rising--Sleater-Kinney has managed to both evolve and stay vitally punk, as Brownstein, Tucker, and Weiss resolutely steer their ever-sharpening chops into ferocious, increasingly intricate punk rock. This weekend offers two great chances to catch America's best rock band in action, and you'd be a fool to miss 'em. DAVID SCHMADER

Showbox, 1426 First Ave, 628-3151, $10. Fri Dec 14 with Pretty Girls Make Graves (doors at 9 pm), Sat Dec 15 with Tracy & the Plastics (all ages, doors at 7 pm).


Cherry Cherry Lemon

(THEATER) At the risk of repeating myself: Keri Healey's two-woman play, Cherry Cherry Lemon, is an exceptional piece of theater, distinguished by casually brilliant wordplay, hilarious frankness, and emotional sensitivity that steers well clear of the slough of bathos. At the heart of the play are the sterling performances of Amy Augustine and Keira McDonald, who invest the women they play--the former a divorcée who barely recognizes her inability to get over it; the latter a party girl with only the freshest inkling that her wild ways are a mask for fear and alienation--with a dignity and ingenuity that are not only engaging, but genuinely sexy. The sexiness, like that of the play itself, isn't prurient or superficial. It comes from seeing the characters confront the dark corners of their inner lives with wit and intelligence. It's the sexiness of laughing through tears. And tonight is your last chance to see it. SEAN NELSON

Re-bar, 1114 Howell Ave, 323-0388. $12.


SUNDAY DEC 16


Nikki McClure

(ART) Just the thing for a crappy Seattle Sunday: a trip to a bookstore that smells like interesting old books, invoking a lifetime of ideas and sure to get you into an intellectual lather. Wessel and Leiberman have a long-standing commitment to artists' books--books, that is, made by artists that are actually an inquiry into the essence of the concept "book," and hardly ever really look like books at all. (A few months ago they had Mare Blocker's book-in-a-teacup.) This month, they have the inimitable Nikki McClure, whose cut-paper works are astounding, especially those more intricate pieces that are as obsessively patterned as Japanese cloth. Here, she's also showing two books that she created with East Coast artist Beatrice Coron, mailing them back and forth between them, building on each other's work: the book as artifact, collaboration, connection. EMILY HALL

Wessel and Leiberman Booksellers, 208 First Ave S, 682-3545. Through Jan 31.


MONDAY DEC 17


The Tale of Genji

(BOOKS) Though I have only peeked into this new translation of the world's first novel, Lady Murasaki's A.D. 1000 novel The Tale of Genji, I'm certain that it is a must for those who have "glasses on their noses and autumn in their hearts" (Isaac Babel). Arthur Waley's 1933 translation of the long book is, to its credit, excessively elegant. But Waley translated way too many ancient Asian texts, and so his book feels rather vulgar. But who the hell knows Royall Tyler, the new translator? And what a marvelous job he has done! The elegance is still there, and it is heavily annotated. You will never make sense of this book; there are just too many characters. But one should never read The Tale of Genji for the plot, but to simply sink into its unfamiliar world with its florid customs, delicate flowers, bright costumes, and somber lovers. CHARLES MUDEDE

Bailey/Coy Books, 414 Broadway E, 323-8842, $60.


TUESDAY DEC 18


Drive Everyone Fucking Nuts

(CONTINUOUS CHRISTMAS MUSIC) Turn your radio dial to KRWM, "Warm 106.9" FM, whose motto is "Continuous Soft Favorites." The station is playing only the soft favorites that happen to be Christmas songs until midnight on December 25 (that's when Christmas ENDS). Last year at this time I was working on a Christmas tree lot in Madison Valley. It was fun temporary work, though we all did get wet, exhausted, cold, and rather sick of Christmas cheer. A radio was provided for us, which was nice, but whenever someone would change the dial to this station it would drive everyone fucking nuts. BRIAN GOEDDE

106.9 FM, 24 hours a day!


WEDNESDAY DEC 19


Sherman Alexie

(READING) If you're skeptical about Sherman Alexie's superlative talent as a poet, novelist, and storyteller, you should give the man another chance. Regardless of the quick luck of his sudden fame (he catapulted so fast, hot, and high a few years ago), Alexie is one bell-clear voice of reason in an increasingly absurd world. He is capable of great language gymnastics, particularly from behind the podium. Alexie is a Renaissance man: He makes accessible poems and spins wild lyrical stories, all the while throwing out lines of astute political witticisms. He stands firmly outside and inside the culture at once, and can intelligently articulate his own truly fresh perspectives. Whether Alexie is telling a story about the odd play of fire and alcohol in the life of one Indian family, or questioning Bush's current popularity, the man is indisputably compelling. Go see him live when you can. TRISHA READY

Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free.


Mark Lanegan

(MUSIC) The solo work of former Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan is intimate and haunted--but better than that, it's sophisticated. Like Tom Waits, Lanegan has a voice that's ravaged and rich with character, willfully cured by the smoke and booze that accompanies years of hard living. And when Lanegan makes sad, it never feels confessional or trite. Just deep. Field Songs, his most recent Sub Pop release, is eloquently shot through with death, loneliness, and odd bursts of humor that only a songwriter of Lanegan's caliber and character can effectively parlay. This man should be in your Seattle all-time top five, even if he does live in Los Angeles now. JEFF DeROCHE

Showbox, 1426 First Ave, 628-3151, $15.


It's Trad, Dad

(FILM) Richard Lester's 1961 film debut is a wellspring of the improv energy and visual wit he would later bring to the films he made for the Beatles. Though the plot revolves around a baffling teenage enthusiasm for the then-vogue British fad for Dixieland jazz, Lester makes no bones about his rock 'n' roll leanings. Trad features appearances by Chubby Checker, Gene Vincent, Gary U.S. Bonds, and Del Shannon, among others. Insofar as Lester would soon radicalize the idea of rock movies, Trad makes for an interesting time capsule; insofar as everything Lester made in the '60s--especially the early '60s, when he was at the height of his anarchic prowess, more or less defining the pulse of visual pop culture--is worth seeking out, it stands alone. SEAN NELSON

JBL Theater at EMP, 325 Fifth Ave, 367-5483, 7:30 pm, $5 EMP members, $7 public.


Lord of the Rings

(FILM) The film you have been waiting for all year (if you're not a complete asshole, that is) opens today. I have been to the mountaintop and though sworn to secrecy, I can say that the film is rewarding and edifying in the most unusual, unindulgent way. It both meets and confounds expectations. More than any other highly touted major studio epic this year, the film flouts the rules of engagement and makes you work for its rewards. I mean, yes, okay, it's a little bit digital, but Jesus, it's Lord of the Rings, innit? You know you're going to go, if only to see the Balrog. Spoiler alert: the Balrog fucking rules! SEAN NELSON

See Movie Times.