From the Feb 19 – Feb 25, 2004 issue

News

Studly John Kerry

To Right-Wingers Panting for a Bimbo Eruption, We Say, "Bring 'em On!"

by Sandeep Kaushik

If those in the right-wing hit machine want John Kerry to trounce their boy Bush--who needs to put on a flight-suit costume to convey the impression he is well endowed--they should keep pushing the idea that Kerry is the sort of studly man's man Democrat who could credibly be squiring sexy women in their mid-20s.

Last week Matt Drudge began flogging the allegation that Kerry has carried on an affair with one Alex Polier. Polier is in Nairobi, allegedly because Kerry asked her to leave the country, and the big boys in the national media are hot on the trail, according to Drudge's breathy dispatches.

Could it be true? Sure, though there is no evidence to back up the adultery claim. Polier issued a statement over the weekend dismissing it as "lies." Kerry too weighed in, choosing Don Imus' radio show to issue a flat denial.

But say for the sake of argument that Kerry is lying. If that could be conclusively demonstrated, perhaps Kerry's candidacy might be damaged slightly, though not nearly as much as the clueless elitists in the ostensibly "objective" press believe.

Contrary to the bizarrely stultified and anachronistic operant beliefs of the establishment press, average Americans are not pinched-face prudes. (The small minority who are already vote Republican.) Most voters have demonstrated a healthy willingness to not overly concern themselves with the sexual peccadilloes of their leaders. Bill Clinton's approval ratings remained stubbornly high even at the height of the Monica Lewinsky "scandal." Apparently, the only people too stupid or isolated to have noticed this are the editorial brain trusts who run major American newspapers.

As it stands, Kerry is sitting pretty. The big knock on him is that he's a bloodless Brahmin, too cold and too calculating to connect with voters. His campaign has worked to counter this perception by pushing an image of Kerry as a he-man type, comfortable body-checking NHL tough guys or zipping about on his Harley. If the right keeps pushing unproven allegations that he's a stud as well, and if the press plays along, they're just putting icing on Kerry's cake.

sandeep@thestranger.com