NEWS This week The Stranger squanders some of its travel budget and sends ERICA C. BARNETT to San Francisco to report on... a boulevard. I hope her trip was a pleasant one—I know the nap her subsequent piece inspired in me was. ALSO: THOMAS FRANCIS sides with spoiled children in a fight against military recruiting in schools. PLUS: In the Hall, In Other News, CounterIntel, In Other Neighborhoods, and Police Beat

SHORT FEATURE Hurry Up and DateIn the latest installment in its Our Worst Enemy series, The Stranger sends CIENNA MADRID to a "speed dating" event. The results, while mildly humorous, in no way justify the series' offensive mission.

FEATURE Breathing EasyNot content to simply bask in the glow of victory, rabid antismoking soldier Dan Savage gives DAVE SEGAL and SEAN NELSON far too many words to gloat about Seattle's new smoking ban. Presumably, neither Mr. Segal nor Mr. Nelson realize that marijuana smoke also falls under the rights-pummeling ban—if they did, they just might choke on their bongs.

GENERAL COMMENTS It comes as no shock to find film editor Annie Wagner coming down in favor of the gay cowboy (is there any other kind?) movie. Ms. Wagner writes about bareback relations with such breathless enthusiasm, and headlines her piece with such vulgar glee, she seems to be channeling Mr. Savage himself, or at least writing with an eye toward a raise.