Because of this little column, I have received angry e-mails from Amazon fans, Tom Douglas groupies, male yoga instructors, and online literary critics who think The Stranger must be paying me big money.

But I'm most amused by the South Lake Union biomed scientists who are pissed at me for my column last week. How could they, geniuses with multiple degrees and IQs two or three times mine, take seriously an article that includes the word "soul-ooze"?

Who knew scientists had such tender hearts? And could be so endearingly literal?

So, my dear South Lake Union Biomedical Scientists, I apologize for suggesting that you might accidentally release demons. I don't believe that you'll literally or metaphorically release demons. And I also apologize for suggesting that you might be absentminded enough to miss the little things, like huge demons rising from the epic vats of soul-ooze in your cavernous basements.

As for male yoga instructors and Amazon? Well, fuck them.

And, hey, Frizzelle and Savage, where's my big money?