Growing up in Eastern Washington, I'd always assumed the Monorail was a science-fiction miracle, so I'm still disappointed it's only a stuttering ride from a mall food court to a glass museum. Yeah, just think of the dozens of people who will take that magical Monorail journey to a modernist bunker filled with million-dollar 7UP bottles.

The South Lake Union line of the Seattle Streetcar also disappoints me, because it's a technologically advanced commuter wonder that takes you the 2.6 miles from a Bank of America branch to the ghost of Hooters. Of course, the SLU Streetcar also makes stops near good restaurants, cool bars, and the invaluable genius and kindness of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. But why the hell doesn't the line make its way up to the University and/or Fremont Bridges? I know it's about issues of money and engineering, but I still want Star Wars, damn it. I want Seattle's public transportation to be The Empire Strikes Back, but all we get, even in tech-drunk South Lake Union, is The Phantom Menace.