Hey local musicians--get off your ass and send in a column for The BAND. If you write 350 funny/intelligent/entertaining words about some element of making music, you might end up the next group featured here. Send your stuff in to theband@thestranger.com.

Hey bands! You can add DEPTH to your work by listening to so much music that you will never copy someone by accident again! Now I know you're thinking, "Damn, I can't afford to buy every record out there," and you don't have to, because you are paying taxes, and they fund this thing called the public library!

The public libraries--both Seattle and King County--house just about every damn record by every artist whose name you've ever (or never) heard. You can brush up on your rock rudiments like Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Howlin' Wolf, and Elvis! You can get your hands on those Byrds and Dylan records you DESPERATELY need to hear--even Burt Bacharach is there!

Good musical ideas (new or not) are in short supply and it's every musician's responsibility to bring something to the party. The only way to know if your party favor is special is to check out all the others. Your new knowledge will be currency with the people "in the know." It will make you smarter and a better conversationalist. It will even GET YOU DATES!

Best of all, you can use the Internet to reserve your copy of Fragments of a Rainy Season by John Cale and they'll hold it at a nearby branch for you. They also have books on rock history and rock criticism, so you can be ready to weigh in on those Housemartins vs. the Smiths vs. the Wedding Present debates when they inevitably arise.

I am calling for an end of ignorance! I am asking you all to come out into the light of wisdom and listen to a Go-Betweens record--for FREE! Just do me a favor, huh? If you are the jerk who has been sitting on the Miles Davis/John Coltrane box set, return it to the library wouldja?--Tim Thomas

by Popstar Assassins