Lopes: photo by Laura Walters/Liaison
Aaliyah: photo by George de Sota/Getty Images
The evidence is conclusive. The facts can longer be avoided. There is a curse brewing in the Caribbean--the curse of the R&B pop diva. First there was Aaliyah, who died in a plane crash in the Bahamas. Then there was Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, who perished in a car wreck in Honduras. Who will be next?

Aaliyah Dana Haughton died on August 25, 2001 in Marsh Harbor, Abaco Island, the Bahamas, when a Cessna 402B carrying her and nine other people crashed just moments after takeoff. Abaco Island is located at latitude 26° N and longitude 77° W (approximate).

Lisa ³Left Eye² Lopes died on April 25, 2002 near La Ceiba, Honduras. She was traveling in a rental car with seven other passengers when she reportedly swerved to miss a truck, sending the car crashing alongside the highway. Ms. Lopes was the only fatality. La Ceiba is located at latitude 16° N and longitude 87° W (approximate).

Who's Next? The point that completes the triangle is San Juan, in Puerto Rico, at the approximate latitude of 18.5° N and longitude 66° W. Given the length of time between Aaliyah's death and Lisa Lopes' demise--exactly seven months to the day--any and all black R&B divas must therefore avoid San Juan on October 25, 2002, or face the terrible consequences.

The triangle is the geometric shape of fate--if there are two incidents, then there is a natural pull toward a third. The fates abhor an even number. If one were to locate the point that will complete the triangle, then they can determine the very spot where fate will deal its next deadly blow.

Curses, of course, do not affect us poor or ordinary people. Our lives are tragic enough to begin with. No, only the rich and famous can be marked for death by some sort of paranormal affliction. Some examples: the Kennedy family; 20th-century princesses (Grace Kelly, Lady Diana); the cast of Diff'rent Strokes; the Fat Guy on Saturday Night Live; any and all persons associated with Superman.

Certain characteristics must be in play in order to complete this curse. First, the potential victim must be a black R&B diva--a black female bus driver, for example, should have very little to worry about. Second, she must travel with a large entourage, like the previous two victims. Any diva traveling by herself is still in danger, but to a much lesser degree. Third, she must be involved with some mode of transportation--we predict a yacht or cruiser, because that would triangulate the elemental symbols of air, land, and sea.

Here is a partial list of black R&B divas who may be in harm's way: Tweet, Brandy, Mary J. Blige, Erykah Badu, Alicia Keys, all three members of Destiny's Child, all three members of Sisters With Voices, Mya, Whitney Houston, Missy Elliot, Mariah Carey, Lauryn Hill, Monica, and Janet Jackson.

Ladies! Be warned!

Under no circumstances should you travel anywhere near San Juan on or around October 25, 2002!