NODDY, SECRET SHOPPERS

I love me some NODDY and some SECRET SHOPPERS, and it's because they are all my babydaddy, that's what. Yes! I AM PREGNANT WITH ALL OF THEIR BABIES. Every member of both bands! (Look for my exclusive interview in the Star.) But before and/or after you do that, do this: Go see the little rockstar hotties play at this thing tonight, and listen to them a bit, and take a good long gander, and tell me... wouldn't you be so totes fucking rip-your-face-off jealous if I really were pregnant with all their babies? Shoooes. I know, girl. I know. Chop Suey, 8 pm, $7, 21+.

ADÉ'S BLACK AND WHITE BALL

Ebony and ivory, livin' together in perfect har-mo-ny—all over your glamorous little bod. That's what. (HAWT.) The Black and White Ball is Adé's new holly-jolly holiday miscegenation of sartorial jungle fever, and yes, at its core, it's a totally racist concept. (But then again, so is Adé. Next question!) You should dress all fancy-pants in black and white (didn't I just say that or something?), and it's a benefit for Lifelong AIDS Alliance, because Adé has clearly begun to fear the fires of eternal damnation and is hedging her bets. (Wise.) Super-famous DJs Riz and El Toro are set to spin their little heads off, with performances by Vintage Youth, ArtStar, and, yers, Adé. Of course. (NERXT QUERSTION!) Re-bar, 10:30 pm, $10 dressed in black and white/$15 if not, 21+.

PINK MARTINI HOLIDAY SHOW WITH SEATTLE SYMPHONY

So conflicted! So tortured! So torn! So many way too many things going on tonight: Bacon Strip's Xmessy Toys for Tarts thing, Fringe's two-year anniversary... jeez Louise. The decision is murder. But this is the kind of call I get paid the massive bucks to make, and so. We are ignoring all of that (sorry, girls!) so that we may instead bask in the loungey nutmeg glow of the world famous PINK MARTINI (my favorites!) as they perform sprightly holiday music for the pleasure of your ear holes. Tonight the Martini merges talents with the entire Seattle Symphony, and together they shall dump an avalanche of yuletide ho-ho-ho all over your nog-addled brain. (And confidential to a not-to-be-named member of Pink Martini who always asks: Do I really LOOK like a guy who carries around pocketfuls of discretionary ecstasy pills? Honestly? DO I? Don't answer that.) Paramount Theatre, 8 pm, $41.25–$121.25, all ages.