THURSDAY 1/19

JK POP

For this very new and most intriguing event, we are invited to "join the Japanese and Korean intergalactic pop music takeover!" which, apparently, is a thing. (And I was all worried silly about Mitt Romney.) There are two DJs driving the J + K Pop mashup—DJ Bishie Reesie (an alias that, I don't know, kind of sounds REALLY, TOTALLY HAIR-EXPLODINGLY RACIST) and Baby Love Crash (an alias that fills my head with gooey, wicked glee). Alibi Room, 8 pm, free, 21+. This event has been canceled.

FRIDAY 1/20

DAVID SCHMADER'S NEW SHOW

The DRAMA! The WHIMSY! The VERVE! It's enough to melt your face right the fuck off. David Schmader, who is a world-famous monologuer as if you didn't know, has written a new monologue and tonight he performs it for you, like, live and everything. It's an autobiographical sort of deal called A Short-Term Solution to a Long-Term Problem and it's got personal revelations aplenty, Mormons galore, probably some intrepid pot abuse (I'm guessing), a whole mess of gay marriage—and did I mention MORMONS? So hot right now: Mormons. Richard Hugo House, 8 pm, $20, all ages.

SATURDAY 1/21

SNAP

Legend tells us that this '90s-themed dance party started in some imaginary land called Portland and was so good that it spread like a booty-shaking virus all the way here to our salty, salmon-drenched shores. But this is obviously just another terrible lie created to destroy me, because if anything's any damn good, SEATTLE DID IT FIRST. It's sold as "a slice of nostalgia that will bring memories of all those awesome middle-school dances," which means one thing: These people had much better middle-school dance experiences than I did. Let the healing begin! Lo-Fi, 9 pm, free, 21+.