The Homosexual Agenda
Bake 'n' Bowl and RuPaul's Drag Race
BAKE 'N' BOWL
When we reflect upon the pith and dazzle that constitute our collective gay social life, we are forced to realize that there is one element conspicuously absent: DAYLIGHT. Generally speaking, I don't much give a rabbit turd. (The sun is my mortal enemy. Don't believe anything it says I said about you!) But popular wisdom tells us that it is somehow salubrious to crawl squinting from our shadowy bar-holes and emerge blinking like watery-eyed baby mole rats into the unforgiving glare of rosy-fingered noon once in a while. (Vitamin "D" or some crazy shit.) So. Fine. LET'S GO BOWLING!
Um, no. I'm not kidding.
Nobody needs to tell you that bowling is more fun than a bucket of butt plugs (or at least more fun than anyone in their right mind wants to admit) or that the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are a skewed Kabuki-drag blessing that deserves everybody's love and support. So, splendid! Come out into the daylight and enjoy a way-gay Saturday after-ugh-noon of hucking your balls into the gutter with them. Also, the event is a bake sale for Rise n' Shine, so that's good—karmically speaking. Big black nun-balls will roll! West Seattle Bowl, $15 single/$25 couple, 1–4 pm, all ages.
'RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE'
Oh, the Lobby! I've been ever so mean to it. I've said turrible things like "I walked in long enough to note that they totally ripped off the old McLeod Residence's wallpaper theme, and that every homo who has been sitting in his condo watching DVD repeats of Queer as Folk and Absolutely Fabulous for the last 10 years now finally has a place to flaunt his fauxhawk. And then I walked out. Forever." HA-HA-HA-HA! So true. But also a total lie. I have gone back! Aplenty! And its QAF queens and questionable wallpaper have grown on me like a possibly cancerous mole. And tonight they are hosting "The Official" viewing party of RuPaul's Drag Race (squeal!), the only one sanctioned and officially blessed by the "Logo" channel. But don't let that stop you. Hosted by the beautiful Lily Armani and the towering mountain of Maybelline, Glamazonia! The Lobby, 8 pm, free, 21+.