Kelly O
THURSDAY 5/3

BABYLON DEATH PARTY: JACKIE HELL AND THE WITCHES TITTIES

Hot DAMN! I just adore spooky, gothy, witchy shit. Voodoo dolls and tarot cards and Harry Potter's big floppy full-frontal Equus penis and that kind of junk—every gloomy inch of it all (especially the penis) gives me one big magical wizarding boner. (AVADA KEDAVRA!) So naturally I'm sporting some warlock-cock-wood like you just wouldn't believe right now, for tonight several deeply talented and ever more deeply disturbing artists and performers break out their bleakest for you: Jackie Hell (the spookiest drag creature that's ever crawled round the town) will perform weirdly, the Witches Titties (featuring the freakishly fabulous artist and musician and Haunted Pike Place Market tour guide Kook Tefflon) will play strangely, and His Satanic Majesty will be most pleased indeed. It's a dark carnival of musical and performance-art insanity... you can even get your tarot cards read by serious professional future-seers. Of course, you'll burn forever in hell. Whatevs. (Mwahahaha!) Comet, 9 pm, $7, 21+.

FRIDAY 5/4

SHAMELESS BOOTY BASS CARNIVAL

This event is a dark carnival of a far lighter sort (huh?). It celebrates not witchiness and death, but birthiness and birth. It's the official birthday party of Recess Shameless, DJ nonpareil, and the Shameless crew (all DJs you know), in which they merge beats with the singular dankness of Lisa Dank, the Narkness of DJ Nark, the kadeejah streetness that is Kadeejah Streets, plus headliners DJ Assault, Blondzie, and a veritable spinning fistful of other top-deck spinners coming in from places as rare and exotic as Detroit (for God's sake) to execute a plot to fill your ears with music and your ass with dancey danceness that you (and your ass) will be powerless to resist. (POWERLESS, I tell you!) And the event is actually carnival themed (I wasn't kidding about that), so they even promise to blanket you in tons of free popcorn, cotton candy, fer-real carnival games, and love. It's a booty-shaking, high-octane, and most carnivaly birthday extravaganza! Electric Tea Garden, 9 pm, $20, 21+.