Music

The Homosexual Agenda

Solomon "Coco-Nips" Georgio Returns, One Night Only

The Homosexual Agenda

SOLOMON GEORGIO

WEDNESDAY 8/29

SOLOMON GEORGIO: THE ACCUMULATED FAILURES OF A GAY AFRICAN IN HIS THIRTIES

HEED ME NOW, ALL HOMOS SEEKING WISDOM! "Solomon" was a wise and square-beardy old Hebrew who was really famous for sawing babies in half. (It's science!) "Georgio," on the other hand, is the tragic misspelling of a delicious women's perfume that reminds me of late winter in Madrid. (Long story.) But when one puts the two together, one does not end up with a King of Israel that smells like notes of bright bergamot rounded out with embracing hints of musk floating on a brisk Spanish breeze (olé!), as logic so obviously dictates that it must. Posh! Tish! Life would never dare be so simple.

When you add "Solomon" and "Georgio" together, what you get is a remarkably homosexual and rather hilariously hilarious individual who's also supposedly "black" or something. (I don't see it.) His family emigrated from Ethiopia—that strange and much-sung-about-in-the-'80s land where all the Christmas bells are CLANGING CHIMES OF DOOM. When he's busy being funny, he often brings up these topics, singularly or in various combinations. I've seen it happen. Here's what else we know:

Solomon was born one of seven children. Historians are uncertain in which order he was born, and so cannot confirm or deny scary supernatural powers at this juncture. He's won millions of comedy competitions, lived in LA for the last two seconds, and looks absolutely amaze­balls in a pair of swim trunks. He's funny enough to knock a migrating Robin Williams right out of the sky, and he's always going on and on about rainbows shooting out of his "chocolate nips"—which makes me so H-O-T, as you know damn good and well. And, the most crucial thing of all, he and his coco-nips and his big Ethiopian gayness are all appearing live to laugh with you, cry with you, and maybe help us all grow and learn a little bit as human beings, too. (And maybe we can teach him a little something about non-doomy Christmas bells.) But probably we'll just laugh at his off-the-chain funniness is all. It's kind of the point. Also with Derek Sheen and Yogi Paliwal! Odd Duck Studio, 10 pm, $10.

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