Mike Curato
SATURDAY 9/15

A BIT OF BRUNCH, A BUNCH OF SYLVIA

Watch out! There do exist those pessimists and xenophobes and sayers-of-the-nay who believe that there's no point in leaving our hallowed Capitol Hill for any gay reason whatsoever, as the Hill is surely a lush queer oasis in a big Kirklandy sea of not-nearly-as-cool and much breeder-ier stuff. And this is so fucking true! (God bless you, truthy sayers-of-the-nay!) Except for, of course, when it isn't true. Which in this case, in particular, it isn't. So let's go! To Columbia City! It's so much nearer and gayer than you think! Starting... now.

Via the futuristic magic of light rail (which differs from a monorail in that... um, I don't know), the once forbidding and uncharted shores of far-off Columbia City have grown even closer than that one stubborn pube that's still stuck between your molars from last Friday. Which is bloody fantastic, as Columbia City is where our darling Sylvia O'Stayformore, whom you love, and whom I love, and whom everyone-with-any-sense loves, is hosting her newish signature cabaret brunch event. It's Sylvia's Queen's Brunch.

Brunch is the hallmark of true civilization and the most reliable indicator of character (and gayness)—and it hasn't been this big since the damn mid-'90s. And the drag-queen brunch, in particular, has recently emerged as the pastime du jour of the hoity-toity and hoi polloi and the way-too-gay, and that's at least everyone.

There are at least three drag brunches in high rotation at this moment, but Sylvia's might be the most energetic—as it features entertainment not only from her own fine self but also a rotating handful of very talented performers. And it is surely the most adventurous of them all—as it features a train ride (magical!), and it happens at the glamorous Royal Room, where there is often music and dancing and the food averages a strong four stars on Yelp with respectable consistency. (Their yam fries made "I-Wei F" from Seattle's "dreams come true!" for Christ's sake!) And so! Take the clean, swift German-like train! Enjoy a nice frittata and some coffee and some twisted humor and dream-granting yam fries and draggy joie de vivre! (And if you hear anything that sounds like "BANG! BANG!" hide behind Sylvia's hair.) The Royal Room, 11 am doors/noon show, $10 (breakfast extra), all ages.