The Homosexual Agenda
Fashion Goes Cabaret for Women, Elvira's Boobs Pose with You
J. VON STRATTON DESIGNS FALL FASHION PRESENTATION
First, there's Ben DeLaCreme, so that's pretty awesome right off the bat. She's going to be hosting the "show" part of the event. Then there is an "aerialist" called Tanya Brno, and another called "Quynbi," and they shall do strange and wonderful dances in the air for you. Waxie Moon (who is the only cabaret performer in town with a handlebar mustache, to my knowledge) and Lou Henry Hoover (who has more facial hair than I've ever managed despite his inborn bio-vag) and Ruby Mimosa (which sounds delicious!) are going to bust out their sexiest moves. Soprano Elizabeth Ripley will be there to diva her opera-ness all over the place. And why? WHY? To celebrate with pageantry and aplomb and a certain amount of tranny-ness the remarkable sartorial creations of Jamie Von Stratton, a star designer of vision and skill. A night of high fashion and whimsy! And far be it from me to ever type the words "for a good cause," but it is indeed notable that Jamie's creations will be up for auction, with the big bucks raised going to Washington Women in Need. The show/auction begins at 8 p.m., but I encourage you to arrive when the doors open at 6 p.m., because the pre-party cocktail event is going to be stellar—featuring Jinkx Monsoon (where the heck has she been?) and Mama Tits! It's got it all, baby. Triple Door, 6 pm, $28, 21+.
It creeps ever closer... closer... WAY TOO FUCKING CLOSE! The darkest, third most alcoholic, and most pagan holiday of the year (barring, of course, Christmas, Green Day, and Lindsay Lohan Day, which isn't a holiday yet, but will be in the future when drunk whorish cockroaches that wasted all their potential rule the earth). ALL HALLOWS EVE! Or "Halloween" to fucking Muggles. But this year, the biggest treat comes early in the form of the deeply boobed and Franken-haired Queen of Halloween, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark! She is going to an in-store meet-'n'-greet at Champion Party Supply, so this is what you've been waiting for: a chance to get up close and personal with the spookiest of all divas (now that Whitney has dropped) and get your picture taken with those astonishing BOOBS. (Let me prepare you: She's got the tits of a 22-year-old, but she's like 60. It's a testament to the power of Satan.) Champion Party Supply, 4–8 pm, free, all ages.