LONG LIVE THE BACON

There have been serious developments. These developments are shrouded thickly in mystery, conjecture, and terrible lies. (Mostly terrible lies—as usual.) The question: After roughly 20 zillion years there, WHY has Bacon Strip left Re-bar forever? What's the motive? What was the damn point? Was it Re-bar's roaming phantoms? The phantom smell? Was there some sort of "falling-out-of-bed," as 'twere? Bad blood? Moody blues? And who precisely is ditching whom for presumably greener pastures in this deal, if anyone is indeed ditching anyone at all, anyway? WHY, for the love of sweet holey-handed Jesus's lemon-scented urinal cakes, I ask you, WHY?! Nobody's talking. A mystery.

Some conjecture (i.e., "lies"): Jinkx Monsoon put a curse on it. Owner Carla Schricker is turning it into a Marriott. Sylvia has drag-queen dementia. (Caused by tight wigs.) They just can't get Dina Martina off the stage. THE FUCKING MAYANS AGAIN. All of the above.

The point: Bacon Strip is happening at Chop Suey now. Reactions to this rather serious move have ranged from "Huh?" to "I don't know what the fuck you're even talking about" to "OH SHIT! Please just kill me and end the pain," while some have noted Chop Suey's dreadful flow pattern and extra, extra ice cubes. (I have no idea what anyone is taking about, of course, but SOME people...)

And so: Sylvia O'Stayformore and the usual crew (meow!) invite you to walk with your bliss in their mad garden of drag once more, Chop Suey–style. The theme this month is Take Out, which has something to do with to-go orders, I guess? (Hold the pickles! I fucking hate pickles.) There shall be bacon boys and mostly nude studs, and they are giving Mizz Honey Bucket curiously strong billing this time round, tap-dancing perilously close to the term "new cohostess" without actually stepping in it. (Oh, but whoever shall replace the retired Maxine Delacunt? The world demands an answer!) And Honey Bucket is the filthiest working drag queen in Seattle, if you didn't know. Just ghastly. It's pretty fucking great.

Therefore! Bacon Strip. Chop Suey, in perpetuity, starting immediately. Please make a note of it—we can't have you showing up at Re-bar with your hat in your hand looking all foolish. And let us say a fond farewell to the good old Bacon-Strip-at-Re-bar days. They are now but a metric shit ton of really fabulous memories. Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10 adv/$15 DOS, 21+.