THURSDAY 5/23

DOWN N' DIRTY WITH ROBBIE TURNER

Our darling Robbie Turner has been in the news for horrible reasons lately (note to terrible people who do bad things: Please stop it), so, of course, she’s been on all of our minds. Tonight graciously provides us an opportunity to turn away from the ugliness of a few weeks back and give Robbie some love and appreciation for her skills as the dazzling queen she is (and to drink and dance and hump all over hot people, too, of course; everyone’s a winner!). She’s the hostess of Down N’ Dirty, the thuper-thecksy gay-gay-GAY Thursday retro-’90s night at Baltic Room. We shall dance our homosexy little asses off (thank you, DJs Brett Law and PBear) and maybe drink a bit (naughty!) and generally conjure up some good juju in Robbie’s general direction. Baltic Room $3, doors at 9 pm, 21+.

SATURDAY 5/25

PEACHES DOES HERSELF

Peaches! The raging queen of raunchy rock and spectacle headlines the gayest film in SIFF this year, Peaches Does Herself—a loud, naughty, "no-holds-barred, operatic, neo-queer extravaganza!" I'm pissing my pants for this one. Probably yours, too. Egyptian Theater, 9:30 pm, $12, all ages.

SUNDAY 5/26

MIMOSAS WITH MAMA 2.0

When the Broadway Grill died, she cast whole islands of drag queens adrift. Sylvia's Bacon Strippers are on "hiatus" (please note for emphasis "HIATUS," as Lady O'Stayformore hastens to assure us that the show is not dead, merely resting its eyes), and the Capitol Hill Talent Show must now occur elsewhere, along with, of course, poor Mimosas with Mama, the Sunday drag brunch. So young! So fresh! I was concerned. But I was silly to be—Mama Tits merely shrugged her massive shoulders and moved the crew over to the festive, boozy carnival that is the Unicorn, where they'll revive their punchy 30 Minute(ish) Hairspray and their drag cabaret, and assure that the tradition of way too many Sunday-morning mimosas lives on. (It makes the Jezuz baby cry! I love it.) Of course, there won't be ice in the urinal, but we are all just going to have to let that go. Let. It. Go. Unicorn/Narwhal, 1 pm, $12 adv/$15 DOS, 21+.