The Homosexual Agenda
Colby Keller, Butt Toucher; Tuck Gets Educational; Be a Big Gay Star!
DIRTY, DIRTY, SPANK, SPANK
Do you know who Colby Keller is? Well, not being much of a boy for porn (shut up), neither the hell did I until Kevin Kauer brought him to man an inspired "spanking booth" (like a traditional kissing both, but much more spanking and a little less herpes) during Dickslap in August last year. Then I was all, OMFingG, hubba-hubba, harder, harder! So what you need to do please is google that scorching emeffer RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. Good? Now click Images. See what I mean? I'll give you a few moments alone to abuse yourself...
If you're quite done angering Jesus, we'll continue: Almost our whole weekend is about Colby (and his muscles and his gingery gingerness) in one way or another (and his sexy beard, and perfect ass, and astonishing lovejunk), and it begins tonight with ANOTHER trip to the spanking booth, which Mr. Keller (and his perfect abs and lovely cuticles) shall again be manning as a superstar guest paddler. You will attend. You will be paddled! You do not want to miss a chance for this man to touch your butt. No one should die with that on his conscience. The Eagle, 10 pm, 21+.
TUCK GETS SCHOOLED
It's beginning to seem like Tuck happens every 30 seconds, AND THIS IS GREAT, because it's awesome. However! Since I gush all over it EVERY TIME, I'm not going to peep the peepiest peep about this one, except maybe to tell you that the theme is Back to School, which is practical, as you can bring a math book to hide the big throbbing boner you got when Colby Keller (and those dreamy eyes and, um, adorable toes) gave it to you in the spanking booth earlier. And, oh! It's Ben DeLaCreme's birthday, too! Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10/$8 in drag, 21+.
COSTAR WITH COLBY
Do you know who Colby Keller is? (God, I just love Google Images.) Well, YOU'RE GONNA BE IN A MOVIE WITH HIM (and his elbows and his taint). No, not THAT kind of movie, don't get your hopes (or anything else) up. It's a short by Waxie Moon in Fallen Jewel director/sexy Russian Wes Hurley. An '80s gay-bar scene! Wear leather, fetish gear, anything Tom of Finland–like, and in exchange have something delightful to show your grandkids—or other people's grandkids. Whatever. Pony, 11 am–4 pm, free, 21+.