The Homosexual Agenda
Colby Keller, Butt Toucher; Tuck Gets Educational; Be a Big Gay Star!
ROCKY HORROR GAY SKATE
We’re so gosh damn lucky, we big gays, aren’t we just? Magical creatures that can do fabulous things others are simply too silly and/or hidebound to achieve. Things like being in your 20s for 40 years, for example. And not accidentally getting pregnant ever (that’s a biggie for me—you, too, I’m sure). And chief among them all is the ability—well, it’s more of a biological imperative, really—to roller-boogie to the irrepressible soundtrack of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Firstly, it hearkens back to those glorious days of gay yore when gay skates were quite the thing (RIP, Gay Skate in Bellevue, I loved you well). Secondly, science fiction! Double feature! There’s a light! At the Frankenstein place! TIME WARP AGAIN! In skates, though! You know you want to. Just try not to kill yourself. Southgate Roller Rink, 9 pm, $7 (includes skate rental), all ages.
THE PET SHOP BOYS ARE OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE
But one small thing even we magical, unicorn-like geighz can’t do, tragically enough, is BE IN TWO EFFINK PLACES AT ONCE. I should know, I’ve seriously done my best. (The most I get is a headache, and I prefer tequila to be the source of all my headaches, thank you.) And so, tonight I am afraid it is necessary to make a very tough choice. We can either (a) go gay skate to Rocky Horror, get a little exercise, hook up, fall down, and have a flaming fabulous time, like I just suggested, or (b) forget that entirely AND SEE THE PET SHOP BOYS, like I also just suggested. (Pay attention!) How you decide will say much about your character and your willingness to leave the blessed borders of Capitol Hill for a damn change. SO WHAT’S IT GONNA BE, ’MO? Paramount, 8 pm, $35.75–$55.75, all ages.
DJ RIZ IS COCK & BULLISH
We’ve sadly missed the last few installments of the always fun and sexy newish dance night Cock & Bull, because we’ve been damn busy, that’s why. (Can’t dance at every wedding, right?) But we are going to sure as hell go tonight for myriad reasons, including the indomitable spinnings of the equally indomitable DJ Riz Rollins and sexy-schmexy almost-nude pole dancers. But mostly DJ Riz, though. Really. Come on! I’m totally serious, you guys… Re-bar, 10 pm, $5, 21+.