DINA PUTS THE MESS IN XMESS
I really don't even need to mention that the annual Dina Martina Christmas Special opens tonight, now do I? No. I definitely didn't think so. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+, through Dec 31.
THE MEN'S CHORUS PLAYS IT AGAIN, SANTA
And I suppose it equally goes without saying that the (formerly "Gay") Men's Chorus opens with their annual holiday show tonight, too, right? You know, just like they have for the last 150 years? RIGHT? LA-LA-LA! I miss Halloween. Benaroya Hall, 8 pm, $28–$78, all ages, through Dec 22.
MAMA DOES DREAMGIRLS
Warning! Warning! Drag brunch down! I am sorry to report this, but evil, vicious, and totally reliable liars report that Sylvia O'Stayformore's delightful, popular, but too-damn-far-away drag brunch (Columbia City? Do I need a passport?) has died and gone to drag brunch heaven. These liars further report that the main consideration for killing the show is that Sylvia is now in hot pursuit of a lucrative career as... wait for it... a drag queen Tupperware lady? That throws Tupperware parties, in, um, drag and stuff? Apparently, yes, this is a thing. That, like, actually, is. (Best of luck, Tupperware queen!) Anyway, the point is, that leaves but two kicking and screaming drag brunches: Julia's Queen of the Brunch and the longest surviving drag brunch in town (or anywhere for all I know), Mimosas with Mama. Now, if you've already seen Mama's 30-Minute Hairspray and don't feel the urgent need to go again, YOU ARE SO BEHIND THE TIMES, IT'S SICKENING. That ended ages ago: The new and improved Mimosas with Mama now features a signature 30-Minute Dreamgirls, which might seem a little peculiar, being a bunch of very tucked and very white boys in dresses playing Effie and Deena and so forth, but there you have it. (Also, you're wrong! Drag queens can do anything.) And you better get to seeing it quick: After the first of the year, the show is gonna flip again, they'll do 30-Minute Something Else Entirely, and you will have missed the whole famn dabulous thing. Starring Robbie Turner, Tipsy Rose Lee, and, of course, Mama Tits. Unicorn/Narwhal, 1 pm, $12 adv/$15 DOS, 21+. 
