WORSHIPPING THE WEDGE
Hullomosexuals! And welcome to this shite and briney New Year that the kids are calling "2014" or whatever. So much promise! So much to look forward to! So let us begin all of our forward-looking-ness properly, with a good, hard, icy glance back. I mean, really! No one ever speaks of Erasure anymore, now do they, and that indeed sucks the big, hairy balls of donkeys. And old Yaz? Nary a peep is heard! And Depeche Mode! Well, people still speak of Depeche Mode, but those who do all do things like go to Madison Pub on a Tuesday and wear wedges in their hair. But please to not despair! As ever, our good friend Pony seeks to right the sad wrongs of a sick, sad world, and shall right this particular wrong tonight with the latest Hero Worship, featuring, as you might suspect, the music of Erasure, and Yaz, and, duh, Depeche Mode, too. DJ Al Niño (HA!) and Dee Jay Jack preside. Pony, 9 pm, free, 21+.
THE SHADY BIRD IS SHADY
The Eagle is vigorously endeavoring to fill every queer's every Friday night with a filthy sort of magic—starting now, there is a new flesh-drenched event with a new theme and cast of DJs and performers every single Friday. Tonight, the crusty old bird brings us Shade, an all-queer-for-queers dance and face-sucking event that you may remember "soft-launched" last month. (Tragic term, "soft launch," I'm sure you agree.) Anyway, it is from here on out to happen on the second Friday of every month (got that? The SECOND!), and event organizers encourage us all to "Come be your filthy, unapologetic, queer self, in one of the last true homo-havens left on the Hill." They certainly don't need to ask me twice. The Eagle, 9 pm, $7, 21+.
A NIGHT OF NIGHT CADET
I am deeply in love with Night Cadet, so let's just not split hairs about it. Their dreamy, hypnotic strains are right up my naughty little alley. First of all, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM? Who are you? Where do you come from? Where are your manners? (Gurl, have you LOST YOUR MIND?) Also, YOU'RE WRONG! You've heard them before, all right, as they are composed of members of our old friends the Secret Shoppers (dreamy dollface Garrett Vance, specifically), Perfume Genius, the Fancy, and even more bands you have definitely heard and definitely loved. Tonight, they will be appearing with Abdu Ali, who is lovely, and Golden Space, who are great, but make no mistake, we are going for NIGHT CADET, and you're going to love them just as much as I do. Chop Suey, 8 pm, $7, 21+. 
