Calling all queerdos! We are perched on the delicious verge of this year's 'Mo-Wave, Seattle's new and already-famous weeklong music and arts hoedown for queer freaks by queer freaks. Twenty-plus gaymosexual artists are prepared to express themselves all over you and amaze your face right the fuck off—Ononos (who you know damn good and well are my favorite), Night Cadet (also way, way up there on my list), Frank Correa, Justin Bond, Zebra Katz (to name but a few), and it all opens tonight featuring the singular talents of a freakster called CHRISTEENE. The intention of the festival is to "curate artists & musicians who leave an indelible mark on their world by wielding their uniqueness as both a beacon and a shield," and that's pretty much CHRISTEENE in a big queer nutshell. Here's what we know: He and/or she lives in Austin, she created their four-day queerfest called Queer Bomb, and HBO named her one of the "Filthiest Personas of 2012," but that's just because I didn't enter. CHRISTEENE is renowned/infamous for performances that are hypersexual, hyperintense, and hyperfilthier than a Greyhound station toilet seat (sometimes they involve butt plugs and balloons!), so, you know. Best leave grandma in the car. Unless she's into that sort of thing, the dirty old bird. Chop Suey, 7 pm, $15 adv/$18 DOS, 21+.



It's day two of the festival and the fabulous thing is going ALL. DAMN. DAY. (Hydrate!) Today's events are hosted by our gender-blended friend Ade, and at this point it features nine astonishing performances (lineup subject to change without warning!). I'm most excited about Zebra Katz, Tacocat, and HypnoTits! Zebra Katz is a super-sexy festival headliner from NYC who's famous for his throbbing and naughty 2012 single "Ima Read" and who was deeply influenced by gay NYC's drag ball culture. Tacocat are a perennial Seattle favorite fresh off a countrywide tour! And HypnoTits! They are (a) a very sexy Portlander called Saya Taylor, and (b) THE BEST FUCKING BAND NAME IN HISTORY. (HA! HypnoTits!) Nine acts today, and we've STILL got a week to go—this festival's gonna plum wear a gurl out. Chop Suey, 4 pm, $15 adv/$18 DOS, 21+. recommended