ANITA'S TAX DAY HANGOVER
The only thing more inevitable than taxes (and death) is of course DRAG QUEENS, so it seems at least partially fitting that we celebrate (?) tax day with Anita Goodmann every year. (When she starts doing funerals, I'll let you know.) Tonight Anita, her cohost Miss Cassie O'Hara, filthy, filthy Gary Gloryhole, and Jake McDermott (to name a few) celebrate this, the most 'Murican of holidays, with laughs, spoofs, a little burlesque, a smattering of improv, and, um, "boobs"? Yes, they are promising boobs, too. Let's just pretend that's a mistake and they meant to say "booze." There. That's better. Re-bar, 8 pm, $10, 21+.
LOVING THE CRESCENT
Emergency! Emergency! Capitol Hill is being murdered! It's a desperate land grab by greedy developers that has unleashed a condo plague that is crippling and destroying our beloved Swish Alps. A list of every Capitol Hill staple that has perished at the clawed fingers of "progress" would fill the Library of Congress, and one can't help looking at stalwart old establishments like, say, the stinky old Crescent and understanding instinctively that the vultures are probably circling. Will she survive? And for how long? It's time we stopped taking it for granted. And so! By the gayness vested in me, I therefore declare today to be Crescent Appreciation Day! Let's pay the creaky old girl a visit tonight, suck down a few tallboys (or tall boys), and let her know that we still care—God help us, tomorrow the place could be a 15-story condo complex with a Subway and a FedEx. Crescent Lounge, 9 pm, free, 21+.
A LITTLE LATE DINA
There is just no point in even mentioning any new Dina Martina show until after the frenzy dies down a bit—opening night is always packed as Paul Lynde's fudge, so at this juncture, pointing opening-night press in her direction seems pointless. (I actually remember the days when the local she-ro needed the ink!) But in case you've forgotten, it's slipped your mind, or maybe there's the odd chance you didn't even know in the first place (Alzheimer's: race for the cure!), here's the deal: Dina Martina. Brand-new live stuff. Tons of brand-old videos (her best!). Please to be enjoying appropriately, and thank you. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+, through April 27. 
