BLENDA YO GENDA
What can I say? Yet another Pride is bouncing in our laps like a manic $2 hooker, and I've already said just about all the hell that can be said in the Pride Calendar (page 43) of this here so-called Queer Issue. (An annual tradition! It's true!) Everything that could possibly be happening between our salty borders is exhaustively detailed therein, I assure you. Free lesbian pap smears? Check! Gay Lutheran pancakes? You betcha! But for the sake of emphasis, if not redundancy, here are the Pride events that I am going to attend or die trying. That's how much I love you. And we begin with Gender Blender! This annual Pride party by Nark Magazine started life called "Hey Tranny, It's Tranny!" but as RuPaul and the rest of us have come to understand damn good and well, that dog just won't hunt. And so! Gender Blender! The purpose of which is to dance, drink, flirt, hook up, and see tons of fabulous performances including (brace your tits!) BenDeLaCreme and Joslyn Fox! It's the one Pride party I refuse to miss. Neighbours, 8 pm–4 am, $30/$70 VIP, 21+.
T-SHACK SEATTLE PRIDE EDITION
And then! Tonight our old friend Heklina and her filthy mouth come to Seattle Pride, and they bring their glorious jewel of trash from San Francisco with them: T-Shack! (Well, until recently it was called... oh, never mind.) This is a rare Seattle event, and happening on Pride? Even rarer. Unicorn, 8 pm–2 am, $5, 21+.
PRIDE DAYTIME CRUISE
Sexy schmexy mens all trapped on a boat with a bar. Pro tips: Get two drinks at a time (the lines are ridic) and hydrate like hell, because there is always some fool puking his guts up in a corner, and YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GUY. Also: sunscreen. You know I worry. Islander Yacht, 1611 Fairview Ave E, 2–6 pm, $25–$75, 21+.
ROCK-N-ROLL QUEER BBQ
Music and food! Traditional barbecue from Off the Rez, with vegan and gluten-free stuff, too! Plus performances by local notables. Pridey! Pony, 3–9 pm, free, $21+.
HAPPY PRIIIIIIIIIIIIDE! You big 'mo.