FRIDAY A 10/29
DEATH DISCO
Oh, wickedest of weeks! Like all the very best holidays, Halloween began with proper human sacrifice, but then Jesus came and fucked it all up real good. On the Gay Calendar (which pretty much just ignores Jesus for political reasons), Halloween lasts all week and comes second only to Blowjob Day and Give Me Free Money Month, two newish holidays of my own invention. (You're welcome!) I've been emotionally preparing for Halloween since about June. I have plotted. Planned! Dreamed spooky dreams! Carefully cultivated delicious anxieties and impossible expectations! Bought shit! Choked down buckets of Snickers minis—I'm only helping! Indeed, I do tend to take Halloween just a little wee bit way too the fuck seriously, but the Dark Forces Who Command My Soul require it. (Yes, I'm talking about Dan Savage.) And there's so much to do! Let us dive into Samhain's dark waters. We begin with Death Disco, a Comeback event. This will be my third Halloween spent dancing myself to pieces at Comeback, and why? Because (a) Comeback still rocks my gay socks right the fuck off (it cannot be denied!), (b) it is always packed-er, fun-er, and a damn sight more reasonably priced-er than other big gay events (I'm looking right-the-fuck-at-you, $35–$45 per ticket BUMP!), and, most importantly, (c) I always seem to get laid. And that's why. Featuring your spooky favorites, plus the DJ Lady Bob and, from "Portland" (where?), the band Reporter. Chop Suey, 9 pm, $8, 21+.
SATURDAY A 10/30
TRUE BLOOD HALLOWEEN (AKA Fangbangers Unite)
How burly is your Sookie? How many flaming white Lafayette's can be crammed into the Eagle? Who dares to challenge my authority as Gay Vampire King? (WHO?!) Laissez les bons temps roulez! The Eagle, 9 pm, $8, 21+.
SUNDAY A 10/31
NIGHT RIOT HALLOWEEN
Squeee! All Hallows' Eve proper brings us the event I've been most twitterpated about: a massive funky-spooky Samhain sexplosion by Nark, who is, naturally, perhaps the best party-thrower on the Hill ever. DJs Mathematix and Riff-Raff spin (my favorites!), plus Vintage Youth, some more DJs, and soul-chilling appearances by Jackie Hell, Jinx Monsoon, and a cadre of damn frightening freaks. Costumes are demanded! DEMANDED! Havana, 8 pm, $8, 21+.
