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The Sitter: Journey to the Near-Bottom of the Post-Apatow Raunch Comedy Swamp

The Sitter: Journey to the Near-Bottom of the Post-Apatow Raunch Comedy Swamp
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One day soon, some bored film blogger is going to create a clever infographic that rates all the post-Apatow raunch comedies from best to worst. The graphic is going to get passed from blog to blog, launch a few thousand irate comments, and then disappear from everyone’s memory immediately. I do not want to be that bored blogger—if I’m going to spend hours in Photoshop lovingly composing a document that prominently features Paul Rudd’s face, that document is going to be a suicide note. But if I were to create a post-Apatovian scale, I would place The Sitter firmly on the bad end of the spectrum, though I’d make sure it was slightly higher ranked than, say, 30 Minutes or Less, or director David Gordon Green’s previous attempt at comedy, Your Highness.

Even if you’ve never seen the trailer, you can guess The Sitter’s plot: It’s Adventures in Babysitting, starring (a pre-diet) Jonah Hill. Through a wacky series of events, he’s entrusted with the safety of three wacky kids for a night. Due to his rampant horniness—ka-BOING! goeth the boner—he has to take the kids out on the town to procure some cocaine for the emotionally distant hot girl he dreams of banging. The movie has exactly enough chase scenes, raunchy comedy scenes, and scenes featuring the realization of Important Life Lessons to meet the legally mandated minimum time for a raunch comedy (81 minutes), and then it ends.

So what makes The Sitter ever-so-slightly better than this summer’s excrementitious 30 Minutes or Less? Sam Rockwell, who plays a villainous, rock-dumb coke dealer named Karl. The scene where he’s introduced is so apeshit, so delightfully gonzo, that for a second you forget you’re staring at a turgid piece of shit dance across the screen. You stop waiting for the blessed release of the closing credits and you sink into the movie for a minute or two. But the rest of Rockwell’s scenes are flat, and every other performance fails to arouse even a second’s worth of interest (especially young Max Records, who was so perfect as the star of Where the Wild Things Are; here, he seems to be a younger, and even more robotic, Keanu Reeves). Hollywood product doesn’t get much more formulaic than The Sitter, but, thanks to that one glowing minute of weird, it’s not The Worst Sex Comedy Ever. Just, you know, one of them. recommended

 

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1
Pineapple Express was also pretty shitty, despite the reviews.

Wot a wast of ten bucks, I now know better than to trust bro reviewers on "bro" comedies.

Be happy to skip this one, too.
Posted by judybrowni on December 9, 2011 at 1:03 PM · Report this
Dougsf 2
I made this exact graphic you mention (as a bar chart of only actual Apatow films) as a joke for a friend of mine after a disagreement over such matters. Nothing after the first three spots was particularly well thought out because, er, it wasn't really worth the energy to begin with.

Posted by Dougsf on December 9, 2011 at 1:33 PM · Report this
3
David Gordon Green is a national treasure and Your Highness was hilarious. Some think he's grown turgid since George Washington and All The Real Girls, but I do not. He brings the same touch to sex comedies and stoner comedies. I've disliked Paul Constant and his turgid national political commentary for a long time. This review solidifies for me that if anyone is turgid, it's Constant.
Posted by Slim Charles on December 9, 2011 at 1:43 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 4
I guarantee this will make money.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on December 9, 2011 at 1:46 PM · Report this
Just Jeff 5
I miss Lindy.
Posted by Just Jeff on December 9, 2011 at 2:02 PM · Report this
JF 6
@1 What in the world is a "bro" comedy?
Posted by JF on December 9, 2011 at 2:14 PM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 7
The beginning of the end of the formula was Seth Rogan in Zach and Miri Make a Porno. A hugely self-flagellistic flick full of deprecating misery that gave Woody Allen a run for his money.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on December 9, 2011 at 3:33 PM · Report this
8
A bro comedy is a sausage fest -- in which the bros relationship to each other supersedes every other, and is at the expense of every other.
Posted by judybrowni on December 9, 2011 at 4:53 PM · Report this
9
Ive got bro tendencies, and am pumped (bro term) to go see this tonight. I have no understanding whatsoever why critics choose to bash comedies, comedy is subjective. I thought 30 min or less was great, I thought bridesmaids was great, I thought Hangover 2 sucked dick, who cares. This will be funny, I will take a couple shots go see this with my boo, LOL and if Im lucky get a handy. The stranger needs to stick to reviewing art house movies no one will ever see
Posted by g2000 on December 9, 2011 at 4:54 PM · Report this
stirwise 10
@3: I can't speak about turgidity, but fuck yeah, Slim. Your Highness was awesome. (And I love David Gordon Green's "serious stuff." Undertow is one of my favoritest movies ever.)

@7: too bad that one was Kevin Smith, not Judd Apatow.
Posted by stirwise on December 9, 2011 at 7:32 PM · Report this

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