NEWS This week's section finds ELI SANDERS waxing intolerant on a local religious figure, and the absurdly named SAGE VAN WING attacking antiabortion protesters. In other words, about as predictable a Stranger news section as one can expect. The lone bright spot: JONAH SPANGENTHAL-LEE (speaking of absurd names) filing a report on a teenage prostitute being prosecuted by King County. That, my friends, is what they call a scoop. PLUS: CHARLES MUDEDE resumes Police Beat. I resume ignoring it.

SHORT FEATURE Disarmed Back in 1945, when I was but a lowly deckhand at Louis B. Mayer's outfit, the great Bill Wyler introduced me to Harold Russell, a veteran who had lost both his hands due to a misfired fuse during a military training exercise, and who would later go on to be honored by the Academy for his performance in The Best Years of Our Lives. Gracious and charming, Russell and I became fast friends, routinely making the Hollywood rounds, where the fillies lavished their comely attention upon him at every stop, and his hooks in place of hands were but a passing curiosity. My, how the times have changed. Leave it to The Stranger to take a tragedy—a tragedy dear old Harry Russell turned into triumph—and distort it into a sick proclamation of sexual deviancy, bravely penned by none other than "Anonymous." A sexual deviant and a coward: Read through The Stranger's staff box and you'll find many who fit the description.

FEATURE Yes and Hell Yes File this under Kicking a Dead Mule: ERICA C. BARNETT, who has yet to meet a minutiae in the viaduct argument she wouldn't gleefully spill 4,000 words on, pens yet another piece on the crumbling thoroughfare. If you feel like you've read this article before (and read it, and read it), don't be alarmed—you have.